MY SO-CALLED LIFE
1.6 ''The Substitute''
Written by Jason Katims
Directed by Ellen S. Pressman
Transcribed by Pete Stevens(Pstev@aol.com)
Characters:
Angela: Angela Chase, fifteen year old high school
student
Patty: Patty Chase, Angela's mom
Graham: Graham Chase, Angela's dad
Danielle: Danielle Chase, Angela's ten year old sister
Rayanne: Rayanne Graff, Angela's best friend
Brian: Brian Krakow, Angela's fellow student and next
door neighbor
Rickie: Rickie Vasquez, Rayanne and Angela's friend and
classmate
Mr. Foster: School principal
Jordan: Jordan Catalano, Angela's classmate and love
interest
Sharon: Sharon Cherski, Angela's classmate and former
best friend
Mr. Demitri: Angela's social studies teacher
Student1: Classmate in Angela's English class
Student2: Classmate in Angela's English class
Student3: Classmate in Angela's English class
Student4: Classmate in Angela's English class
Student5: Classmate in Angela's English class
Daryl: Classmate in Angela's English class
Yvette: Classmate in Angela's English class
Substitute: Substitute English Teacher who replaces Vic
Vic: Victor Racine, Angela's substitute English teacher
Angela(voice over): Maybe teachers have a hidden life. Where they're
actually___like human. Where they have, I don't know,
dignity.___Or maybe not.
[Angela's English class. There is a boom box playing music. Angela is
sitting at her desk resting her head. Brian is reading a book. Jordan is
sleeping at his desk in the back of the room by the window. Sharon is
having her hair fixed by the student behind her. Vic Racine enters and sits
on his desk at the front of the room. He takes out toothpick and puts it in
her mouth.]
Vic: Oh, ah, sorry. [Offering one to the class] Tooth pick?___Anybody
else?___Tooth pick?
[The class begins to settle down. The music is turned off. People begin to
return to their seats.]
Student1: Way-way-wait. What did he say?
Daryl: Yo. Speak up bro.
Yvette: He said tooth pick. Right? Isn't that what you said?
Student1: Tooth pick.
Yvette: So, why you here. You the new substitute?
Vic[starts to pace around the room]: Why am I here. Yeah, good
question. I'm the new substitute. I'm the new substitute. Yes. I'm
here quite simply to get paid.
Student2: Yeah, right.
Vic: Assuming all of you can read and write, I don't perceive any
emergency situation.___That's all. Continue wasting your lives.
[Vic takes a paper from his bag and sits on his desk.]
Sharon: So, um, are we like, dismissed?
Vic: Do you want to be dismissed?
Sharon: No, you just said that__you just said that was all you had to say,
so.
Vic: Ah, I will be here for the next forty-seven minutes. Whether you will
also be here for that time is, to be candid, your decision.
Jordan: What's the catch?
Vic: No catch. You don't want to be here. Go. I'm not going to stop you.
[Jordan gets up and starts to leave.]
Vic: Well, you know, there is just, you know, one catch. We will be
discussing you in your absence. But, you know, if you don't mind
that.
[The class laughs.]
Jordan: Yeah, right.
Vic: Its no joke. I have no lesson planned. Trashing you in your
absence, will help, uh, pass the time.
[There is murmuring through the class.]
Vic: Right? Yeah, ah, it could, ah, possibly be educational as well.
[Jordan sits back down. Angela stares at Vic's socks as he pulls them up.
One is white. The other is black. Vic notices Angela looking and she
backs off].
Angela: So what are we suppose to do?
Vic: Ah, I've known you all of five minutes and you want me to tell you
what you are suppose to do?__Fine, follow your hearts and veer
away from heroin.
Angela: No, I meant in the next forty-seven minutes.
Vic: I know what you meant. That was sarcasm._(to Brian) What?
Brian: Um, one of the things we were suppose to do_ this semester was,
uh, this issue of the literary magazine. Ah, like we each wrote
something, and, ah, but Mayhew, that's our teacher , she, ah, like
never approved the witting or whatever, cause she, just, she quit.
So, well, we just never_ did it.
Vic: That's a heart breaking tale.
[Class laughs.]
Brian: Well, what I meant was that, I know where they are. I mean the
stuff we wrote. Its in there. So, ah, could you, just, at least, read
it, so we could get credit for it.
Vic: Why not.
[In front of Angela's house, Graham and Patty are unloading a car full of
groceries.]
Graham: Wait, so, lets go over it one more time.
Patty: Look you don't even have to be there. This should be me.
Graham: Fine.
Patty: Ill just take him out to dinner and make it clear well redo the job
at cost.
Graham: Fine. Whatever.
Patty: Castro listens to me. He trusts me. I mean, you know, not that he,
ah--
Graham: Oh, no no no. You're right. You should handle it.
Patty: Anyway, I need you to take Danielle to the cookie booth and back
tomorrow night.
Graham: Cookie booth?
Patty: Its girl scout cookie time again. I signed her up.
Graham: Oh. You sign her up. I end up at the booth. Yeah, well.
Fine. Ill call Neal and cancel our pool game.
Patty: Oh. You had plans. Woo. Well, maybe you can call one of the
other Moms and , ah--
Graham: Whaaat, and miss the cookie booth.
Patty: Oh, I almost forgot. One of us has to call Angela's English
teacher, I think her name is Mayhew, and see if they want us to print
the Lit magazine again this year. I reserved the press time. One of us
should call. You should.
Graham: You forgot to buy kitty litter again.
Patty: I thought you said you would.__You know what we need?___A
wife.
[Back in Angela's English class, Vic has just finished reading the some
papers. He sits behind his desk with his feet propped up.]
Vic: Well, um, I've had the privilege of reading your entries for the
Liberty Lit. And, um, how shall I describe them. Good question.
Let's see. Boring. The word boring comes to mind. Fake. False.
Synthetic. Bogus. What do these words have in
common?_You[looking at Jordan].
Jordan: Me?
Vic: Yeah, what do these words have in common?__Yes-yes, I know
what you're going to say. That they're synonyms meaning not
genuine. Well, that's true, that's_that's absolutely true. But what
else are they. I mean, how else would you classify them?
Jordan: I don't know.
Vic(raising his voice): Yes_you_do. You think I'm an idiot?[Vic walking
back to Jordan and sitting on the desk in front of him] If I tell you
that the class' work was safe, banal, homogenized, cutesy,
appalling, all of which is true by the way. What sort of words am I
using? Tell me. Don't give me that blank look. You're not fooling
anyone. I'm on to you. You know this. You know this. Not
verbs. Not nouns. But?
Jordan: Ah, Adjectives.
Vic(loudly): Ad_jec_tives. Wooo. Don't you dare play dumb with me
again.__[walking to the open window] Now, as for the rest of you,
um, how shall I phrase this.
Brian(whispering to self): I don't believe this guy.
Vic: This is the most God awful crap I ever read in my life.
[Vic throws the papers out the window.]
[Angela's house. There is a knock on the front door. Danielle answers it.
Brian comes into the house. Graham is sitting on the couch sewing. ]
Danielle: Hi.
Brian: Hi.
Danielle: You want to buy some girl scout cookies?
Brian: Um, not really.
Danielle: I mean, you can owe me the money.
Graham: Danielle, leave him alone.
[Brain shuts the door and looks at Graham sewing.]
Graham: What? You never saw someone sew on a merit badge before?
Danielle: It's not a merit badge. It's a proficiency badge.
Patty[entering the room]: Hi, Brian. Angela. Brian's here.
Danielle: Oh, come on. Just one box. You can freeze them, and eat them
later--
Patty: Danielle.
Danielle: Forget it.
Patty: Sorry about that. [Patty sees a sheet of paper in Brian's hand]
What have you got there?
Brian: Um, just this thing Angela wrote that I found.
Patty[taking the paper] : Her oak tree poem. I loved that one. Why does
it have this_foot print on it? And where are the others? Weren't
we going print them up?
Brian: Angela didn't tell you? He threw them out the window.
Graham: Who?
Brian: This new substitute who's, like, mentally ill. Seriously.
Angela[coming down the stairs]: No, he's not mentally ill.
Patty: He threw them out the window?
Brian: So, do you, like, want this? Or-
Patty: I think that's terrible.
Angela: Mom.
Patty: I'm serious. You worked very hard on that poem. You put a lot of
thought into it.
Graham: It's true. You did.
Angela: I don't know. I don't like it that much.
Graham: Well, Honey, that's not the point.
Patty: Exactly. I mean, I don't care if he is your teacher, he has to treat
you with common courtesy.
Graham: Haven't we always taught you to stand up for your rights?
Angela(sarcastically): Thanks, Brian.
[Angela's English class. The bell ending class rings. Vic collects papers
from students as they leave. Jordan passes by.]
Vic: Jordan? That's your name right. Look, I appreciate the fact you
don't want to monopolize the discussion, but, I mean, come on. I
need you. Do you understand. I need you to talk more.
Jordan: Ok. Just, ok.
Vic: Alright.[Vic picking a book up off his desk and walking to Jordan.]
Yes, alright, by the way, you, ah, left this behind.
Jordan: I didn't leave that.
Vic[gives the book to Jordan]: Ye, just take it will you. We'll discuss it
tomorrow.
[Vic turns around and sees Angela still sitting in her seat.]
Vic: What.
Angela: I-
Vic: What. Say it.
Angela: I just think what you did yesterday wasn't right. I mean, in terms
of common curtesy. I just think it showed a lack of respect.
Vic: You mean when I threw your work out the window.
Angela[standing up and getting ready to leave]: Yeah. I mean, that oak
tree poem? That was mine.
Vic: Oh.
Angela: I put a lot of thought into that.
Vic: Did you?
Angela: Yes. I mean, why did you do it?
Vic: Why did I do it. Good question. I did it to clear the slate. I did
it to wake you up. I did it to do *something*. To find you. And now,
guess what, here you are. Wide awake. Right in front of me. I
mean. Wasn't that worth it? I mean, that, um, ah, poem. That,
ah, Oak tree poem.[laughs] That was yesterday.___What are you
going to write today.
Angela:__Good question.
[At the start of Angela's English , Angela walks in the room with Rayanne.
Sharon, Brian and Jordan are already there.]
Angela: Rayanne, you're not in this class.
Rayanne: So. Neither are half these kids. Come on. You've been talking
about him for three days. I got to view this guy.
[Rayanne sits in the desk behind Angela. Vic walks in.]
Vic: Get out your notebooks.
Rayanne(whispers to Angela): Substitute my ass. He is the real deal.
Vic: I want everyone to start over.[ The class groans.] From the
beginning.
Brian: Start over on what?
Student3: Hey, I didn't bring a notebook.
Student4: Can't you show a movie?
Vic: Don't give me anything quaint. I don't want to see any domesticated
animals, or_[to Angela]or greenery. I want anger. I want honesty.
I want nakedness.
Rayanne(whispers to Angela): I'm right here, baby.
Brian: Um, excuse me. Can I say something?
Vic[pacing the room]: Nope. Write it down. Whatever you feel like
saying write it down instead. What you never told anyone. What
you never even told yourself. And don't fear exposure. No one is
to put his or her name down. This will be completely anonymous.
Rayanne(whispers to Angela): Just how I like sex.
Vic[sitting on the desk opposite of Rayanne](to Rayanne): What about
you?
Rayanne: Uh. I'm not in this class.
Vic: You're not? Where are you? I mean, ah, how can you say you're not
here. You're here. I see you. Get out your notebook.
Rayanne: I never wrote anything for the Lit.
Vic: Well, then you have an unfair advantage.
[After class Angela, Rayanne, and Rickie are walking together down a set
of stairs at school.]
Rayanne(excited): Tell him about the toothpicks. Tell him about the
socks. You got to hear about the socks.
Angela: He always wears these white--
Rayanne: He always wears one white sock and one black sock.
Rickie: I've *got* to see the socks.
[Angela's English class. Vic is sitting behind his desk with his feet up.
Angela, Rickie and Rayanne are looking at Vic's socks. Vic is holding a
pile of papers.]
Vic: Well, I, um, I read all your papers and, um, I'm beginning to see
signs of life. Where do we go from here?__Good question. We go
further.
[Montage--Vic is seen walking around an overcrowded class room
explaining something, with his shirt tail out and his tie undone. Several
student's including Rickie, Angela's and Rayanne have toothpicks in their
mouths. All the students are enraptured with what he is saying , except
Brian, who looks disturbed.
In the hallway, a group of students including Rickie and Rayanne, are
shown gathered around Vic and laughing.
In Angela's English class, the lights are out. There are lit candles
everywhere. Rayanne, Rickie, and Angela are sitting, with other students,
on the floor writing, while Vic walks among them. Brian stands by the
door, not taking part.
In Angela's English class, Vic is carrying around a paper bag filled with
papers from which students are each taking one.]
Vic: Ok. We'll start over here.
Sharon: Just read it?
Vic: Just read it.
Sharon: Um, I can't read this person's writing.
Vic: Yeah, read it anyway.
Sharon[reading]: In the fitting room, price tags tickle my shoulder, as I
slip on another dress. I know this one will fit.
Rayanne(whispering to Angela): Angela.
Sharon[reading]: This one will make me fly.
Rayanne(whispering to Angela): Angela.
Vic: Paint a picture. Just talk. Don't make it sound like writing. Daryl.
Daryl[reading]: No one knows I come out here nights. I look up at your
window, but you're never there.
Rayanne(whispers to Angela): Angela.
Daryl[reading]: Only your horrible dog who use to bite me.
Rayanne(whispering to Angela): He changed the socks.
Angela(whispering): Shut up. I'm trying to listen.
Daryl[reading]: And I realize I'm not angry at you. Things change.
Vic: If you don't know what you're writing about, no one else will.
Yvette.
Yvette[reading]: When I'm a mother I'll get revenge. I'll ask questions
that miss the entire point.
Vic: Forget grammar. Forget spelling. Forget the rules.
Student5[reading]: My father decides how much cars were worth before
they were totaled. That's his job.
Daryl[reading]: I can forgive you, but I want to kill your dog.
[Class laughs.]
Vic: Yeah, remember, it isn't just emotion. You have shape the emotion.
Yvette[reading]: I'll smile when you want to kill me. I'll throw away your
favorite skirt and never admit it.
Student5[reading]: If I drive myself and his car off a bridge, what would
be the estimated damages?
Vic: Notice he didn't just trash his father, he, uh, found an ingenious way
to trash him.
[Class laughs.]
Rickie: Uh, this one has a title. It's called A Fable.
[Angela looks apprehensive.]
Rickie[reading]: Once upon a time there lived a girl. She slept in a lovely
little cottage made of ginger bread and candy. She was always
asleep. One morning she woke up, and the candy had mold on it.
Her father blew her a kiss and the house fell down. She realized
she was lost. She found herself walking down a crowded street.
But the people were made of paper. Like paper dolls. She blew
everyone a kiss good bye and watched as they blew away.
[The class murmurs with laughter.]
Vic: Hu? Why are you laughing?
Yvette: Because it doesn't make any sense.
Vic: Ah, yeah, yeah, that's true. But, um, it does better then make sense.
It__makes you feel. It makes you wonder.__[looking at Angela] It
wakes you up.__Ok, has everyone read?_Brian. Read.
Brian: I'm not going to read this.
Vic: Just read.
Brian: Look, I really--
Vic: Read it.
Brian: __It's called Haiku for Him? [reading] He peels off my cloths like a
starving man would peel an orange.
[The class reacts.]
Brian[reading]: His lips taste my ju--juicy--
[The class reacts again.]
Brian: I refuse to read this.
[Vic takes the paper from him.]
Vic[reading]: His lips_ taste my juicy sweetness. My legs tangle with his.
We become_ one being. A burning furnace,_ in the cold cement
basement_ of love.__(to the class)Hormones. What would we do
without them. Comments. Questions.
Student1: Who, ah, who wrote that?
[Class laughs.]
Vic: Ok. Is this a real haiku?__Jordan.
Jordan: I don't know.
Vic: Yeah, well, find out. Hu. [ Vic gets the dictionary and throws the it on
Jordan's desk] Look up Haiku. Now.
[Rayanne raises her hand.]
Vic: Yes, the ever popular Miss Graff.
Rayanne: Just cause its not a real haiku, that doesn't mean you're not
going to print it in the paper right. Cause it's real, in-in the sense
that it's true to life.
Brian: You're going to print that in the Lit?
Vic: I don't see why not.
Rayanne: All right, Vic.
[The bell ending class rings. Students begin to leave.]
Vic: Yeah, come on. Get out of here. Give me your work back. Gently.
One at a time. One at a time. Don't screw them up. Gently.
Give me the work. Don't drop them on the floor. Pick them up.
[As last of the students leave, Angela comes up from behind Vic]
Angela: That was mine. Not the Haiku thing.
Vic(distracted): Yeah. yeah, I know which one was yours.(to Jordan)
Jordan. Come here. I'm not finished with you yet.
Click here
to continue.jace@firefly.prairienet.org