Gen'Xapathy.
This was a personal weekend. I spent the whole weekend at home
geeking out with my computer, sleeping a lot, and watching tv
while my car door was ajar just enough to run my battery down
(for the second time in one week.) I think it _might_ be time
to look for a new battery before I obliterate the current one.
I missed an important review last week - the Budweiser's South
Park Meadows, Austin R.E.M. show. Along with a game machine
review, record reviews, light switch plates(?), animation, com-
puter industry jokes, etc., etc. this is going to make a full
(and long) issue. So, we should get to it right away.
*********************************************************************
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks! No ducks!
http://linex.com:80/~alibee/ducks.html
*********************************************************************
Virtual boy
I played Nintendo's foray into VR and I can't say it is worth
a full purchase price. It's cute for the 3 nights for $10 with
2 free games at Blockbusters, nation-wide. It's biggest problem
is the monochrome (red!) that can be just a bit irritating, real
fast. The sound is only slightly better than a hand-held LED
game. The headset is too big to hang like a visor so you have
to set it down somewhere and lean into it kinda like the nickle
slot "What the Butler Saw" machines from the 20's. Now for the
good parts.
The 3-d does work. The two games we tried, a virtual Pinball
and a true 360 degree x/y/z 3-d space flight simulator, were well
designed and even addictive. The pinball would pop up tubular
ramps under the floor and around the board whenever you hit the
right options and the feel of the flippers was only a little bit
off. The flight sim was neat except that the bad guys and the
walls and misc. objects were all built from red wire frame. It
made it difficult. Why buy when you can rent?
And now for a Second Opinion:
Virtual Boy (Nintendo) by stavros [stavros@eden.com]
Having seen the ads on TV for the VBoy, I was very interested in
trying this BadBoy out, but not for $199. Fortunately for me, there
is a Blockbuster just down the street. The current deal at
Blockbuster is 2 free with rental of VBoy for 3 nights: $9.99.
Enough background! This little device is an ingenious use of 3D,
although it can give you a severe headache after prolonged play.
Nintendo even warns you of this with a safety feature: AutoPause -
will pause *any* game after 15 minutes of play, automatically. For
those of you who might think this is a portable device, let me just
shoot you in the face and laugh. There are so many little parts and
wires, short of a utility belt, it is just not possible to lug the
VBoy around.
Overall it is a nice diversion, but my personal recommendation is to
wait for the next generation. This is not the end of 'personal
entertainment systems' nor is it the cutting-edge VR. Save your money
and get a Sony MagicLink(review coming soon) so that you can get the
Weekend Update anywhere you go.
*********************************************************************
[ From Greek Boy which he stole from elsewhere. ]
Subliminal WHAT?
----------------
At this point, many of you have seen the new advertisements
for the Sony PlayStation, featuring the ever popular Sofia (she's
the one with the whip). Well, many of you with out a quick eye
may not have noticed something which has been right in front of
your face. Yes, subliminal messages... not quick enough to make
them illegal, but fast enough for many people to not consciously
see them. We here at Game Zero took the time to document some
of these little blurbs for your enjoyment:
From 1st commercial (Sofia and Tohshinden):
"DON'T TOUCH ME THERE",
"WORSHIP ME",
"LOVE HURTS",
"I WILL TELL YOU MY SECRETS",
"I WANT MY MOMMY",
"HOT LOVE", "ANYTIME ANYWHERE",
"BITCH SLAP",
"WHIPLASH",
"COME TO ME",
"GROVEL",
"HOW BAD DO YOU WANT IT?",
"DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES?",
"THE PLACE WHERE PAIN AND PLEASURE MEET"
From 2nd Commercial (Ridge Racer, NFL Gameday, MK3, Tohshinden):
"SATURN BITES",
"TO GO FORWARD YOU MUST GO BACK",
"DON'T BLINK",
"YOU LOSE",
"FIGHT TO THE END",
"BE AFRAID",
"GO BACK",
"3-D",
"WATCH",
"YOU ARE NOT READY"
*********************************************************************
[ Also from the Greek Kid comes an interesting ]
[ URL. An entire sight devoted to logic flaws/cliches in Movies. ]
The Movie Cliches List
http://www.well.com/user/vertigo/cliches.html
[ Oddly (or coincidentaly) enough Jank sent me this list not long ]
[ after satvros's submission. Here's a select few (20 of 57). ]
[ The rest are at http://www.eden.com/~etrigan/fluff/tv_land.html ]
What the world is like in TV land:
1. If a woman is running away from someone she will trip and fall.
2. Your car will always start immediately unless you are being
chased by a maniacal killer or a monster of genetic creation.
3. Crazed maniacs have super-human strength.
4. The suburbs are exciting.
5. Good guys always shoot better than bad guys.
6. Good guys are always outnumbered.
7. Good guys always win and get the girl.
8. Good guys are always good looking.
9. Ugly people are always bad guys.
10. Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.
11. There are no ugly women, only ugly men.
12. Court cases are all solved with a suprise witness.
13. Good guys are the only ones who have a sense of humor.
14. Cars will explode in all accidents.
15. Everyone has a 'dark' secret.
16. Cream pies are made to be thrown, never eaten.
17. Haunted houses are never locked.
18. The police are smart.
19. Good guys will only get shot in the arm or leg.
20. All Chinese people know Karate.
*********************************************************************
R.E.M.
What can you say about R.E.M. The Led Zepplin of Gen'X puts on
a great show. They had one of the best sets I've seen -- kind of
strange twisted white trash deco -- and the lights and film were
outstanding.
Music-wise, I haven't enjoyed R.E.M. much since Green. A song or
two here and there have been worth-while, but most of it's cute
drivel IMHO. Because of that I wasn't too taken with the sound,
but I was worshipful when I got to here So. Central Rain live one
more time from the forefathers of alternadreck. If there's one
mood that R.E.M. has been able to produce without any competition
it's that east texas highway driving music.
Oh, yeah. Michael Stipe may be one completely weird-out freak who
I'd rather kiss my Aunt then have to sit next to on a bus or air-
plane, but he is 100% genuine freak. In any day and age that's the
most respectable thing to be: genuine.
*********************************************************************
In Orbit Around the Web
[ It must have been fate. I was listening to "Complete Discography" ]
[ of Minor Threat when I came across this page. If I had to label ]
[ this I'd call it left-wing, but the editor would shun me for any ]
[ label. I bring you some pieces from the first well-done web page ]
[ based on politics (or the changes of politics). ]
[ P. Farley brings his view to the net at: ]
http://www.tcp.com/~prime8/Orbit/
[ The opening three paragraphs from page one: ]
"In Orbit Around the Web is the political e-zine dedicated to those of
you who had to quit being anarchists because there were too many rules.
I am launching this 'zine for 2 reasons:"
"1) First, because publishing a 'zine is something I've wanted to do ever
since I was 12 years old. This is a tribute to the hundreds of little
black and white 'zines, pasted and glued by hand, xeroxed and stapled
individually, penned so fanatically by those hundreds of nameless heros,
that were the lifeblood of Eighties youth culture ; such gems as Box of
Water, Art Police, Void, Waste of a Tree, Duplex Planet, Slambook, and
countless others, all lost in time now, like teardrops in rain. (God how
I miss them.) Other spiritual forebears of IOATW include Paul Krassner's
The Realist (the Mother of All 'Zines) and Robert Anton Wilson's Trajectories
newsletter."
"2) Because I'm sick of slumming around all the other political
sites on the Net, looking for intelligent dialogue and quite
frankly not finding any. I'm sick of writing concise little rants --
brilliant and provocative of course (; -- and posting them to political
forums where they are either ignored or given the slightest, most
fatuous responses amidst the monotonous, ad hominem
feces-hurling between so-called "Liberals" and "Conservatives."
Time to let the mountain come to Mohammed, I say. Time to drop a
sounding line into the Net and find out if there are any like-minded
individuals out there."
[ Some quotes from inside: ]
"Today's slackers are the intuitive pioneers of a coming
'workless' society."
"Traditional left-right politics are outdated. The Internet itself
will change the political dynamics of human society."
[ AND if you don't know who R. Buckminster Fuller is (and you ]
[ you should IMHO), or just want a refresher look at: ]
http://www.tcp.com/~prime8/Orbit/bucky.html
*********************************************************************
[ This is a web site for a potentially cool 'toon. Catch ]
[ the Monte Carlo wave before we have to see them hosting ]
[ videos. The animations are big but well-done, and the ]
[ audience participation adds to the flavor. ]
http://www.umich.edu/~umsoais/isweb/people/dcm/
[ from binkey@umich.edu, one of the creators: ]
Truely I'm honored, it's great that you like my stuff and a
review to boot. keen! Also, I should note that within the
next week or two at the most, I'll be updating the pages some
what to feature the latest MC&J short animation...Monte Carlo
vs. Hell, with a introduction/cammeo from the mysterious third
juggernaut Snyder, as well as a new form to help give Snyder a
way cool super-guy-like name and super-guy-like stuff & gadgets.
Thanks again,
Stu
*********************************************************************
FOX Kids Shows
I've brought you School House Rock, Pete and Pete, Animaniacs,
and the Tick (by itself). Now here's the URL for the hippest
afternoon programming around. Pics and descriptions and NEW
clips from the Tick!
http://www.foxnetwork.com/Kids/Lineup/index.html
*********************************************************************
[ from , Susan Macdonald, comes a great ]
[ Christmas idea - (never too many). ]
Hi Johnny:
Here is my blurb on the switch plates and thank you for the interest in our
product.
I have light switch plates and wall outlet covers with pictures from the
T.V. show "My So Called Life" on them, these are mainly taken from scenes
from their shows or from photo shoots (posing for the camera etc.) and can
either be of the whole cast or if you have a specific actor/actress in mind
- this can also be done, also these all in color. I also do them for all
the popular T.V. shows (Seinfeld, Friends, Mad About You, Home Improvement,
Frasier, NYPDB etc.etc.)
I also do all the sports teams for the NBA, NFL, NHL etc. as well as
musicians, actors, animals, children's - the list never ends.
I was planning on having a brochure out by now, but have had to put it on
the back burner (so to speak) as I have literally been swamped with orders
(doing about 100 a day). But because of this I do offer a 30 day guarantee
so when you receive your order and if you are not satisfied at all you can
return for a full refund (minus postage/handling) as long as you do not
screw them in to the wall. As well I can supply references from hundreds of
past customers.
I get most of my pictures from good quality magazines, books, calendars and
such so you can imagine that my supply is endless. Plus all are in color. I
then decoupage the pictures on to the switch plates so the whole plate is
thus covered with the paper and use many layers of high gloss varnish
overtop. This makes the plates very durable, washable and most of all very
attractive.
I do have a few on-line if you are interested in taking a look (they will
give you some idea what they look like). You can find them at the sites below:
SOAP OPERA SWITCH PLATES
http://purplenet.com/soaps/gh/collect/stuff/ghetc.html
COW SWITCH PLATES
http://www.brandonu.ca/~ennsnr/Cows/switch.html
DOG SWITCH PLATES
http://www.rahul.net/hredlus/goods.html
BOY GEORGE SWITCH PLATES
http://www.umich.edu/~geena/switch.html
SEINFELD SWITCH PLATES:
http://www.engr.wisc.edu/~heinj/plates.html ( click on heading saying
"Seinfeld Switch Plates" to see pictures of some of the plates)
Also if you are interested please let me know the size (single, double etc.)
and what type of switch plates:
REGULAR: has a rectangular hole in the middle and is considered the most
common.
DECORA: has large rocker style switch and can be found mainly in newer homes.
WALL OUTLETS: Single: has 2 outlets
Double: has 4 outlets
PRICES:
SINGLE: $5.00 DOUBLE: $7.00 TRIPLE: $9.00 QUAD: $11.00
The procedure for ordering is:
There is a small postage/handling charge, depending on how many you order:
$2.50 for up to and incl. 3 switch plates
$4.00 for 4-8 plates
$6.50 for 9+ plates
MACDONALD ENTERPRISES
P.O. BOX 33002
1583 MARINE DRIVE
WEST VANCOUVER, B.C.
CANADA V7V 4W7
Also, just one quick note to mention if you live in the states. In about
50% of my customers from there, they unfortunately do not put on enough
postage on their orders to get to Canada and thus U.S. Postal Service
returns to sender. I believe it costs between 40-50 cents to mail to Canada
- just to let you know :-)
*********************************************************************
[ from jank, comes a submission ]
[ that hits real close to home! ]
Computer Jokes
==============
Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the
computer was plugged in and then asked the woman what happened
when she pushed the power button.
> "I've pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens," the
> woman replied. "Foot pedal?" the technician asked. "Yes," the
> woman said, "this little white foot pedal with the on switch." The
> "foot pedal," it turned out, was the computer's mouse, a
> hand-operated device that helps to control the computer's
> operations.
> One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install
> batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the
> first page of the manual, says Steve Smith, Dell director of
> technical support, the woman replied angrily, "I just paid $2,000
> for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read a book."
> Compaq's help center in Houston, Texas, is inundated by some 8,000
> consumer calls a day, with inquiries like this one related by
> technician John Wolf: "A frustrated customer called, who said her
> brand new Contura would not work. She said she had unpacked the
> unit, plugged it in, opened it up and sat there for 20 minutes
> waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she
> pressed the power switch, she asked, 'What power switch?'"
> Seemingly simple computer features baffle some users. So many
> people have called to ask where the "any" key is when "Press Any
> Key" flashes on the screen that Compaq is considering changing the
> command to "Press Return Key."
> Some people can't figure out the mouse. Tamra Eagle, an AST
> technical support supervisor, says one customer complained that her
> mouse was hard to control with the "dust cover" on. The cover
> turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in. Dell
> technician Wayne Zieschang says one of his customers held the mouse
> and pointed it at the screen, all the while clicking madly.
> Disk drives are another bugaboo. One customer was having trouble
> troubleshooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem,
> Mr. Sullivan asked what else was being done with the diskette. The
> customer's response: "I put a label on the diskette, roll it into
> the typewriter..."
> At AST, another customer dutifully complied with a technician's
> request that she send in a copy of a defective floppy disk. A
> letter from the customer arrived a few days later, along with a
> Xerox copy of the floppy.
> At Dell, a technician advised his customer to put his troubled
> floppy back in the drive and "close the door." Asking the technician
> to "hold on," the customer put the phone down and was heard walking
> over to shut the door to his room. The technician meant the door to
> his floppy drive.
> The software inside the computer can be equally befuddling. A Dell
> customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything.
> After 40 minutes of troubleshooting, the technician discovered the
> man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
> monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.
> Another customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer
> worked. He had cleaned it, he said, filling up his tub with soap
> and water and soaking his keyboard for a day, and then removing all
> the keys and washing them individually.
[ One story that is conspicuously missing, but that I can vouch ]
[ for personally: A man wrote a letter to Dell requesting a new ]
[ ball for his notebook's track ball. Since he travelled a lot ]
[ and used his notebook all the time the ball was always getting ]
[ dirty. He'd tried many off-the-shelf cleaning solutions but ]
[ the best way he'd found to clean it was by holding it in his ]
[ mouth to soak and then wiping it off with a napkin. Well, one ]
[ unfortuitous day at work while cleaning the ball a co-worker ]
[ slapped him on the back and he swallowed the ball. He event- ]
[ ually retrieved the ball (he didn't get specific) but didn't ]
[ really feel that he'd be up to cleaning it next time it got ]
[ dirty. Dell sent him a new one without any fuss. -- I have ]
[ seen a Xerox of the letter with my own eyes. ]
*********************************************************************
[ Many thanks to Mike-D (of HSO, not the B-Boys), ]
[ , for breaking the geek flood ]
[ this week with Part I of II of his record/band ]
[ reviews. (Tim's also in HSO.) ]
Here's some reviews Tim and I did for a zine, but never made it
to press, it might go good in WU.-- Mike
Flat Duo Jets- Introducing The Flat Duo Jets The duo of Dex Romweber (vocals,
guitar), and Crow (drums), raise a hell of a ruckus on their sixth release.
From the opening instrumental Theme , the listener is transported to an
alternate reality where Buddy Holly never died and obscure rockabilly stars
reign supreme. Introducing... serves the Duo Jets raw and loud, and true to
their live sound. Otis Redding would be proud, I ve Been Loving You Too
Long is reason enough to buy this album. (Rick Gascow)
(Norton Records, Box 646 Cooper Station, New York, NY 10003)
Cowboys and Indians- The Western Life Dallas Texas Cowboys and Indians
carry the Western Swing torch and carry it high on their debut CD. This is
truly a fantastic album, start to finish. Where do I begin? Well, Big
Man , spins a self-explanatory tale, I m a big man with big big plans for
lovin you . Texas pride runs throughout, Lassoed In El Paso , Wanted In
Texas , Hell & Texas , just to name a couple or three. If The Western
Life is any indicator, I simply can t wait to see them live. In a perfect
world, Cowboys and Indians will follow Shiner Bock as the hottest export from
the great state of Texas. Buy this now! (Rick Gascow)
(Crystal Clear Sound, 4902 Don Drive, Dallas, TX )
HAGFISH Rocks Your Lame Ass
As you know Punk Rock is back. Well , some interpretations of Punk are back,
and so far HAGFISH has the coolest interpretation around. Their first single,
Stamp , is a sweet little ditty about one girl s on the job exploits.
Possible follow up singles are Buster and Did You Notice? . A splendid
album from top to bottom. The only forseeable downfall this band faces, in
the world of Punk Rock is that they bathe regularly. Not to fear guys, you re
still ugly. (Clubber Lang)
(London Records)