Eat ?What? While You Work?
Wild Austin Nights!...I shoulda been a Glam Metal Star! Following
this rambling you'll read about Waterworld, the latest CMJ review,
Newt's favorite net resource:sex, concert info, and a very useful
usenet utility...Aaaaa-ooooo-oowwww, baby, rock me!...Rockin'!
Live rocks! I've now seen them live/in-person three times, and I
still think Ed's a god. Buffalo Tom and BAD opened for Live at
South Park Meadows here in Austin on Saturday night. BT were alright.
They just aren't suited for a venue with +10,000 people (6,000 of
them crowded around the stage). BAD on the other hand are simply
amazing. Mick seems to have not fallen into the Rolling Stones' pit
of the ugly dried-out zombie look. He was a bit pale, but he cruised
through the whole set with a smile. Good show!
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I won't say that Waterworld was a waste of my money, but (God forgive
me for this) a lot of the plot just didn't hold water. <sic>
The visuals are seamless and the cliche will always be:Mad Max on
the water. That's NOT Road Warrior or even Beyond Thunderdome.
Everyone was dirty and struggling and mean. It's a good ride, but
I find it hard to believe you can walk barefoot on the deck of a
tanker that's been in the water for a any length of time, especially
when it's on fire...
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(You should be at least 21 years of age to view this!)..right...
Many thanks to the squid man <kmembry@internetMCI.COM> for helping
me by doing the grueling sex research required for this piece. The
sites he pointed out are marked with an *. The other sites were
either my own research or someone who doesn't want their name mentioned.
You've been hearing a lot about the availability of sex on the
net and I'm here to debunk that: Unless you know a Sprint maint-
anance man who owes you a favor, or you're real friendly with your
service provider it'll never happen...(I'm on a roll, now!)
The truth is that sex on the net has been seriously affected by
the Reight. Take, for instance, the first sight that Kirk sent
me:
*http://www.shaver.com/global/952per/marty/index.html
Here's what a little surfing gets you:
We are no longer able to provide sufficient service to our clients.
Therefore we are discontinuing all access to all uses.
We apologize if for any inconvienence this may cause, but we feel it
is the best course to follow.
This has been happening all across the net on WWW sites, usenet
newgroups, gopher, and ftp sites. Even sites that were not
explicitly sexual, like one of my favorites - the alt.fan.teen.starlets
home page, are being taken down. More on all these later.
Now, for sites that work:
http://www.playboy.com
http://www.penthouse.com
http://www.primenet.com/~prince1/stud/
*http://www.centerfolds.com/
These sites will give you pretty much just what you expect. They
represent one of the biggest idiocies (IMHO) seen when corporations
start using the net. These are all small versions of the magazine.
The pictures aren't as numerous and they take forever to download.
If you _really_ need nude air-brushed people go buy the magazines.
The pictures load faster, are more plentiful, and are in better detail.
If you actually read the articles, then the playboy site rotates
some of the best interviews with hepcats...currently featuring
"The Russians" - Yevgeny Yevtushenko, and Vladimir Zhirinovsky.
The playboy site also has good cartoons, and humour.
Club Centerfold is _really_ cute, and it seems to have a clean,
fast connection. It's basically a version of penthouse with
some flavor. They've done a good thing and given character to
what you'd find on print. It's worth a chuckle if you're bored.
*http://www.cris.com/~abend/AdultStars.html
featuring:
*http://www.cris.com/~abend/bioam/Raye_Tamra.html
*http://www.cris.com/~abend/bioam/Raye_Roni.html
The above pages are for the pornographic film connesiur. There
aren't a lot of pictures (and it's mostly female oriented), but
if you know who you like and just have to have all of their art
this is the place to be. They, also, feature several amateur
actresses. (Tamra Raye and Roni Raye are examples.)
*http://www.xxxinfo.com
With this URL is where I start some rants.
1) Playboy, penthouse, centerfold and xxxinfo all suffer from the
same malady. They want us to believe that the airbrushed doll-
faced babes that show up in their pages are real. Now, I'm not
saying their not nice to look at, but they aren't real. If you're
happy living with fake plastic women, then skip to the next rant.
I prefer my nudity from real people. If you want reality then WWW
is just not there. Usenet provides literaly hundreds (if not
thousands) of pictures of real people every day. Also, since
usenet is more of a coveted geek area then the web, you get
better quality. If you want to try uesnet, but don't know how,
write me and I'll send you a couple of documents to get you
started.
2) Label me "Straight, but not Narrow". There's worlds of half-nude,
fully nude, and simply seductive (while cothed) women all over the net.
If I were a straight female, or gay I'd be mighty pissed about the
availability of nude men. Now that queer.net is going full-blast and
women are taking over their (much needed, IMHO) place on the net I'd
like to know that if sex is what they want they'd be able to find it.
Unfortunately, that's not the case today.
3) Now to the Reight. I'm sure everyone here's heard about the
Exon bill, and as I usually stay clear of politics (um, yeah) I
can't let this happen. I know I bad-mouth Newt a lot, but after
reading the Wired interview I realize that as much of a politician
he may be, at least he's got enough of his head out of the clouds
to have _some_ sense. When the Exon bill started being publicized
the Usenet new groups under alt.binaries.pictures.erotica dropped
from +1000 pictures a day to barely 100. Thank god, that this
caused an uprising and the pace is picking up again. Unfortunately
all of the sex starved minions went looking elsewhere for there
fix and overloaded WWW and took down several good sites with them.
Whatever your view on sex and the 'net, the Exon bill is _not_
the answer.
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from RPMARR@ix.netcom.com
"Please Consider Reviewing Dick & Bert's Boston Music Home Page,
(a Multimedia Public Service Data Base for Boston Music) in your Zine."
http://www.mw3.com/ima/fantastica/boston/d&b_home.htm
Since I focus so much on Austin and it's local music scene, I might as
well give some time to other scenes. The Boston scene is actually
booming, also, and this page lets you in on the inside track. They
have links to or cover the info themselves for whole Spectrum of r&r
from Aerosmith; The Mighty, Mighty, Mighty, Mighty Bosstones (you'd
never guess I like them); Letters to Cleo; The Pixies; Frank Black;
Throwing Muses; G. Love & Special Sauce; Morphine; and the phenomenal
Jennifer Trynin. Give it a look-see.
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http://www.thoughtport.com/spinnwebe/
While you're out driving for entertainment, drive through
SpinnWebe and you'll definitely LOL. Hidden beneath the
stories, contests, practical jokes, peeves and revenges,
you'll see that this is a front for a pretty cool t-shirt
shop. I'll be ordering from them, you should, too.
Here's some bytes from Spinnwebe:
http://WWW.ThoughtPort.COM/spinnwebe/peeve/peeve.html
Peeve:
People who feel obligated to emphasize their remarks by including
the little "in quotes" gesture.
Petty Vengeances:
- Emphasize your response to their remark, using the more satisfying
one finger emphasis.
- Start making the gesture yourself, then expand repertoire to include
shadow dogs and roosters.
- Hang up coat and hat, one on each of the outstretched 'prongs'; put
them to good use.
http://www.thoughtport.com/spinnwebe/wacky/tmbw.jpeg
Clothes store
They Might Be Giants fans will get this one. This is the women's part
of a clothes store in Lancaster, PA.
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http://www.automatrix.com/concerts/index.html
Need to know when Sebadoh is coming to town? Well, they're not,
they don't exist any more, but if they did you'd find their tour
listing at the above site.
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[ From the fish man, himeslf, <mbuna@eden.com> ]
http://www.dejanews.com/
This is a great utility for finding articles on just the
information you want without having to randomly (or pseudo-
randomly) dig through every Usenet newsgroup.
This is going in my 'hard-to-qualify-for' bookmark file!
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[ from newly employed (yet still slacker'd) kellymc. ]
Hey, I just happened across a photograph of me on the roof of my
building on the 'net. You may have to fiddle around with it
extensively to find me, but it's at a really cool site.
http://www.c3.lanl.gov/~cjhamil/Browse/dc.html
They're watching you too.
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Well, that's a full-house for now. A great humor piece is already
in the works for next week, and !OF COURSE! there's all the things
that _you're_ going to submit! :)