Shoe Be Do W.O.P.

Rave of the Week:  Ben Folds Five.  I bought this Chapel Hill, N.C.,
band's CD last Tuesday and it's followed me from work to home every
day and ended up in my CD player.  There's a lot of young fresh Billy
Joel influence with the fun and silly attitude of Poi Dog Pondering
or Those Who Dig.  You _must_ have this album.

I won't even honor "Kid in King Arthur's Court"/"Runaway Brain" with
a paragraph all it's own.  KKAC sucked and RB was only 2 minutes 
long.  On the other hand, I got to see "Drunken Master" on the screen
and you can read about it below!

(I was just looking through www.yahoo.com and I'm wondering if Newt
or George Will would approve of the fact that the sub-heading Drugs 
comes under the heading Entertainment?)

The web has taken over the world, including the WU.  It's full of URL's.

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Crime Scene Evidence File

http://www.quest.net/crime/crime.html

Feel like a detective?  This sight shows a (fake) crime investigation 
from beginning to _almost_ the end.  It's got an interesting section on 
DNA matching and some really silly pictures of "victims" playing dead 
on the kitchen floor.  It _can_ be a bit, ummm....., descriptive so be 
cautious if you're thinking about viewing it on your lunch hour.

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"Drunken Master" starring Jackie Chan

Don't let his Lifetime Achievement Award at the MTV Movie Awards
or his recent popularity lead you to believe that Jackie Chan's
movies are easy to find.  You would be hard pressed to find what 
is probably his most noted movie for rent in Austin, and getting 
to see the film version is even rarer.

"Drunken Master" is the story of a young man who is gifted in the
area of Martial Arts (which should never be confused with Marital
Arts). He's a hero at heart, but is generally a handful of trouble.
His father sends him to learn under a master who is well known for 
breaking the spirits (and backs) of young up-starts.  Through a
twisting set of circumstances he meets the Drunken Master and learns
a style of Martial Arts that requires imbibing - and the more the
better!  (The Drunken Master character inspired my favorite Virtua
Fighter 2 character.  If you play the game and can't guess which
one, you need to drink more.)

Including the typically embarrassing translations and Jackie Chan's
unique fight choreography this film is all feel-good and laughs.
If you can find it on video or if it shows in your area, go see it!

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Entertainment:People (4669! - day-amn!)

http://www.yahoo.com/Entertainment/People/all.html

I've been using Yahoo a lot lately (it's a really _great_ place
to find stuff), and this section bothers me.  If you want your
URL to get even more lost in the sky called World Wide Web then
add your star to this page.  Over 4,670 people have listed their
home page in this (IMHO) useless place, by now.  I decided to 
pull up a few and check them out and the following two sisters 
caught my eye...

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http://linex.com:80/~caroline/  (Caroline Bellach)
http://linex.com:80/~alibee/  (Allison Bellach)

I've bitched about the decidedly masculine aura of the 'net and
I'm always glad to see women around.  What's even better is when
I see women who have excellent style.  If you're thinking about
putting together your own page, you could use these links as a
style guide and you'd have something to be proud of.

I only have one problem with the Sisters Bellach...actually I only
have a problem with Allison.  I was extremely intrigued by a link
that said:

   The Day My Sister Massacred A Flock Of Ducks: A True Story

and I followed it only to find:

   One day, as my sister and I were driving back from getting our hair 
   cut...uh...wait. 

   Wouldn't it be a bit tasteless to do a page on this? You must 
   be sick to want to read it. Go away. Plus, my sister was very 
   remorseful, so this wouldn't be the standard "Muhahah! I killed 
   defenseless animals!!" page. Sorry. :) 

Hmph!  I hate being teased like that.  If you'd like to know the 
story (and now _who_ wouldn't?!?) then write allison or caroline 
(<alibee@linex.com> and <caroline@linex.com> respectively) and
ask them to tell me the story.  I'll run it in next week's WU.

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Haven't heard enough light bulb jokes?  Set your URL to the
following and prepare yourself for an endless barrage of them.
(This only works with Netscape 1.1 or better.)  

   http://www.crc.ricoh.com/~marcush/lightbulb/random.cgi

Here's a few samples:

   How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? 
     There is nothing to change. 
   How many husbands does it take to change a light bulb? 
     We'll know as soon as one gets off the couch and does it. 
   How many Austinites/Berkeleyites/Boulderites does it 
   take to change a light bulb? 
     Five. One to change the bulb and four to talk about how 
     much better it was in the Sixties. 

If you've been racking your brain trying to remember how many
firemen it takes to screw in a lightbulb then use:

   http://www.crc.ricoh.com/~marcush/lightbulb/lbsearch.html

and you find out that:

   How many firemen does it take to change a light bulb? 
     Four - one to change the bulb and three to cut a hole in the roof. 

If you just want all the jokes:

  ftp://ftp.crc.ricoh.com/pub/lblist.txt

Oh, yeah.  Here's my favorite:
  
   How many dead politicians does it take to change a light bulb? 
     As many as possible. 

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[ From the KMc, <kelly_mccollum@chronicle.page1.com>, himself comes ]
[ a site that frightens me.  I don't want to offend anyone's reli-  ]
[ gous choices, but I think this is a bit much - who says "Rad"?!?  ]
     
     Look no further for the ultimate WWW site. 
     
     http://www.umn.edu/nlhome/g018/peter236/rock.htm
     
          As a teen living in the fast paced cyber world of today,
          you need to know how sin can, and will, affect every
          area of your life! Would you rather live in Jurassic
          Park... or Jehovah Park?

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As TV season approaches, I've been warming my clicker finger
and doing lots of sitting/resting-tone exercises.  Here's a
a show you can watch during the re-runs while waiting for the
mindless ones to begin:

http://www.spe.sony.com/Pictures/tv/tvnation/tvnation.html

*********************************************************************

That's all for now!  Let me know what's caught _your_ attention
and I'll put it in the next WU!