Tiny Bubbles...[EVERYONE join in!]

Whoops, I left this out last week.  

This month's CMJ has some good stuff in print and digital.  If you're
into mainstream alternative the Urge Overkill song is pretty good 
("Somebody Else's Body") and there's a new Cracker song from the 
Clueless soundtrack ("Shake Some Action").  The ex-members of Sebadoh 
(Lou Barlow/Deluxx and Bob Fay/Folk Implosion) have a typically 
off-key single for you extremeists in alternative.  For those of us 
who are willing to meet in the middle, Letters To Cleo, BAD, and a 
new band Ben Folds Five have !great! singles.  Ben Folds Five is a 
punk band with a baby grand piano instead of a guitar...  Inside the 
mag you can read about (my college radio mates) the Apples, Neutral Milk
Hotel, Chocolate USA, and Olivia Tremor Control.  it's worth
the $6+ tax, as usual.

When my waiter at Sfuzzi asked me if my pork with Fig sauce was
good, I should have got a clue.  I spent many hours Friday night
in major discomfort.  Let's just say that Sfuzzi has great drinks
but don't order anything dangerous.

Now on to the Update...

*********************************************************************

[ From the now-employed KMc, <kelly_mccollum@chronicle.page1.com> ]
[ comes two Medical related URLs.                                 ]
     
     Before you go to lunch today, check out
     
     http://www.njnet.com/~embbs/challenger/chall.html

[ For the sarcasm impaired, THAT was sarcasm.  Here's what their  ]
[ webmaster says : "The makers of MD Challenger educational soft- ]
[ ware have posted several clinical images here with EMBBS."      ]
[ What they DON'T say is that this page should have a warning on  ]
[ it.  Page after page of all kinds of ugly skin problems - YECH! ]

     A must-see for aspiring doctors or cyber-sadists, I recommend the 
     barium enema.
     
     http://medicus.marshall.edu/medicus.htm

[ This page isn't so bad, as a matter of fact it's kinda fun.    ]
[ You get to say rude and obnoxious things to an idiotic patient ]
[ and then YOU GET TO RECCOMEND TREATMENT!  Unfortunately, it's  ]
[ pretty modern and they don't have a leaching prescription.  :( ]

*********************************************************************

[ From an un-wired co-worker comes these two gems. ]

> TOP 10 THINGS TO SAY TO A COP
> -------------------------------------------------------- 
> 10 Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
> 9  Wanta race to the station, Sparky?
> 8  I know I was weaving, but I can't find the Honeycomb Hideout! 
> 7  On the way to the station let's get a twelve pack.
> 6  You'll never get those cuffs on me...You P_SSY!
> 5  Come on, write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes! 
> 4  Hey wasn't your daughter a pork queen? (for the pork council) 
> 3  How long is this going to take? Your wife is expecting me.
> 2  Hey officer is that your nightstick or are you just glad to see me?
> 1  I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunk'in Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 special!

=====================================================================
     
     WHY ASK WHY ?????
     
     
     Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink 
     and drive?
     
     Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
     
     Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
     
     Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of 
     parachutes?
     
     Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited 
     there?
     
     Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
     
     Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
     
     How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
     
     If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks 
     on the doors?
     
     If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
     
     If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the 
     pan?
     
     If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a 
     height, what would happen?
     
     If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you 
     turn on the headlights?
     
     You know how most packages say "Open here".  What is the protocol if 
     the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
     
     Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
     
     Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
     
     Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a 
     shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
     
     You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, 
     why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
     
     Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you 
     turn down the volume on the radio?

*********************************************************************

[ Also from the K-M-C ]

Look, corporate America tries to get in touch.

[ The CBS cyber-team sent this letter out: ]

	DEAR EYE ON CLUB MEMBERS:
	Sender: owner-cbs@www.cbs.com
	Precedence: bulk
	     
	We need your help!
	     
	One of the new shows on CBS's fall lineup is DWEEBS, described as 
	being "set in the world of computer dweebs who are more comfortable 
	in cyberspace than with real life."  Take our word for it -- the 
	show's funny.  But not everyone finds humor in the word "dweebs." 
	What's your reaction?  Have any bright ideas about other names for 
	the show?

[ Ummmm...., yeah. ]
     
Could we get enough people to join the Eye On Club and send in the same bogus 
name to fool the CBS marketing people into using it? How about "technokrunks" or
"Felchers"?

[ Try it.  Everyone join at http://www.cbs.com to the Eye on Club ]
[ and lets all send them e-mail saying we prefer "Felchers" to    ]
[ "Dweebs".  Embelish.  Tell them it's something your mom/dad     ]
[ called you, or your high school club was The Felcher Chess Club.]