Roller Coaster Ride, Baby!
I'm spending another weekend down in preparation for SXSW '95. It
used to be said that this was the second largest independent/new music
festival, but with the New York New Music Festival having so many
financial difficulties, it might soon be THE largest. It can't
really be called 'independent', anymore, with sponsors like Enter-
tainment Weekly - BUT their buck$ are helping to bring a FREE live
Matthew Sweet set at 6th and Brazos, AND the Indigo Girls' Jesus
Christ Superstar Remake will let several Athens, GA bands stay
longer than their SXSW time slot (Huzzah!!!! Five-Eight!).
One of the reasons SXSW is making the cut is the SXSW MultiMedia
festival spinsored by Microsoft, among others. Maybe soon the
line between the MM conference, and the Music Conference will
blend beyond noticability.
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[ from "that girl" CYNSMITH@utxvms.cc.utexas.edu ]
originally writeen by John Bradford <jfb7@cornell.edu>
I wrote out these rules a couple of days ago and it turned out to be a huge
success at Slackfest last night. They're quite intense, but force one to
pay close attention to every word in this work of art.
The Slacker Drinking Game [based around the movie "Slackers"]
Drink whenever...
--someone is lost or missing.
--someone goes someplace with no apparent way of returning home.
--someone who doesn't work at a store tries to sell someone something
--someone repeats themselves
--someone says "like", "man", "dude", "check", or "score"
--two or more people who don't know each other begin holding a lengthy
conversation
--someone really scares you
--someone is wasteful with a belonging
--someone salvages an item
--a crime is committed
--someone in the film utilizes a funny camera or projector
--there is a truely prophetic one liner
--somebody gets dissed
--somebody gets lucky
--there is a car more than 15 years old beign driven
--someone is wearing an appliance
--conspiracy theories are discussed
--a recognizable actor is on the screen
--someone thinks that they are truely ingenius
--someone is remourseful
--someone actually has a plan of action
--someone uses a really old tape recorder
--someone complains
--it all seems so pointless.
Notice the implications of the last point. Basically anybody can at
anytime yell out "This is pointless" and make everybody drink.
Have fun and watch for more Slacking with the upcoming "Dazed and Confused"
smoking game.....Slack on!
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Leolo!
There are some really strange films in this world, and they _never_
seem to be in English...except maybe Brazil, but that doesn't even
come close to Leolo. If you are squeamish, skip this review.
Leolo, the lead character, begins the movie by explaining that even
though people call him Leo Leozone, that's not really his name, and
he's not his father's son. The story then switches to Italy where a
man is 'releiving his tension' into a crate of tomatoes bound for
America. Then we see a rather large woman get knocked into a large
tomato bin in an American market place, and then we see a doctor
remove a tomato from her unmentionable regions. Under the microscope
the doctor sees that the tomato is _STILL_ carrying little spermies.
The movie doesn't get any more reasonable from there. Father forces
his kids to have one good shit every day...Leolo pays his sister to
take his weekly laxative and save her shit so he doesn't have to...
Leolo's brother works himself into one large ball of testosterone
and muscle to keep from getting beat up, and then gets beat up...
Leolo's neighbor boy has intercourse with a cat (and I'm not talking
converstation, here)...and this is what I caught while trying to
keep up with the sub-titles.
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Oddities' The Head.
If you haven't been keeping up with Mtv's latest forray into the
animation world, then it's too late, now. You might as weel wait
until they begin the next series:The MaXX. And you _don't_ want
to miss the MaXX, it's one of the best independents on the market.
The reason I bring up Oddities is that the question arose Saturday
night (from the ever-personable Maya Misra) over whether the lead
guy's hair was simply scraggly or if it would gather up when his
head returned to normal size. Well, I said yes it would, but the
devolvement of continuity prooved me wrong. His head shrunk and
he still has scraggly hair, unlike the girl who's hair returned to
normal after her incident. What were they thinking? Is it a sexist
thing?
*********************************************************************
Well, that's it for now - remember: read and the world reads with you,
write and you write alone...
oh, and I almost forgot -
*********************************************************************
[ from our dear friend Curt <curt_gloyer@ccmail.us.dell.com> ]
New Drug Menace Uncovered
by Jim Hoffman
Researchers have discovered a dangerous drug which, although in widespread
use, has mysteriously evaded detection until recently. The drug, known
variously as 'sleep', 'nap', 'snooze', 'zees', or 'dream', is known to be
highly addictive and to have severe withdrawal symptoms. So addictive is
this drug, researchers claim, that not a single case of successful withdraw
has been documented. Most users need a 'fix' on a daily basis, as withdraw
typically sets in within a day of abstinence. Withdrawal symptoms include
fatigue, unclear thinking, impaired motor performance, and irritability.
Intergenerational transmission of the drug addiction has been observed in
numerous cases.
The actual drug, known as endorphin, is classified as a narcotic analgesic
and is closely related to heroin. Its effects, however, are far more severe,
as users are typically completely incapacitated - even comatose - while on
the drug. Moreover users returning from a dose of 'sleep' frequently speak
of wild delusions had while on the drug. By a fortunate coincidence of
nature the incapacitating effects of the drug restrain the user from acting
out violently on their delusions. It is not known, however, whether users
might carry out violent acts, while sober, based on delusions from a recent
'sleep' episode.
One of the features of this drug epidemic that is particularly worrisome
is that most users apparently have the ability to synthesize the drug
in their own brains! Government and law enforcement officials, caught
off guard by the revelation that such a powerful drug is already in wide-
spread use, are quick to point to this fact in defense of their inaction.
One official put it thusly:
How can we fight a drug that addicts can score in their own brains?
And they can snap themselves out of it in seconds; you've got no evidence,
no case. Can't nail em with urine or blood tests either, 'cause they tell
me everybody's got some of this stuff floating around in their
bloodstreams.
Others have pointed out that most users indulge in this drug only in the
presence of family and close friends, and mask the activity with euphemisms
like 'rest' or 'shut-eye'.
Other officials are more sanguine about the possibilities of fighting this
menace. They are suggesting the repeal of the constitution and bill of
rights so police may routinely visit private residences to root out this
activity, as well as the offering of rewards for the reporting of people
engaged in the crime. The behavioral symptoms to look for are: horizontal
posture, lying almost motionless for hours at a time, unresponsiveness,
and regular breathing. A sudden stimulus, such as a loud noise, is an
effective antidote, though it should be used with caution, as the user
is apt to become violent.
High level government officials have promised swift action scheduling
this dangerous substance. Meanwhile, market analysts have projected the
sale of eggs and frying pans to skyrocket when parents, recognizing their
children are in danger, really get down to business with drug education.