+------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Johnny Rollerfeet presents... . ___ . ___ | | The Weekend Update!! ._ / / ._ / / | | an exclusive for the .__ / /__ .__ / /__ | | Weekend Update Krewe!! ._ _ ( ) ._ _ ( ) | | (?s, !s, and ideas welcome!!) .___ ()()()() .___ ()()()() | +------------------------------------------------------------------+ | --- An Original Electronic 'Zine --- | +------------------------------------------------------------------+
+------------------+-------------------+-------------------+-------------------+ |Hey, Judge did you|After which animal | |Folks, please feel | |know that we just |is this year named?| |free to fill in | |started the Chi- |\_________________/| |your favorite Newt | | nese New Year? /| / / Uh, it's \ | |Gingrich joke at | |\_______________/ | | | the "year of || |\ this time! /| |/No, I didn't.| \ | | \ the pig". / | | \_______________/ | |\_____________/ | | \_ \__________/ | | / | | | | | \ / | | \ | | O O | O O | O O | O O | | \|/ \|/| \|/ \|/ | \|/ \|/ | \|/ \|/ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | << << | << << | << << | << << | +------------------+-------------------+-------------------+-------------------+
Table O' Contents - Greeting/Top
Jimmy would fly the plane around some more - "whoosh whoosh" - and
then he'd land and say "All the motherfuckers who want to get on,
get on, all the motherfuckers who want to get off, get off."
Mom saw little Jimmy playing in the back yard with his brand new
air-o-plane. Jimmy would fly the plane around - "whoosh whoosh"
and then he'd land and say "All the motherfuckers who want to get on,
get on, all the motherfuckers who want to get off, get off."
Mom ran out the screen door and snatched little Jimmy up by his ear,
dragged him inside, gave him a scalding lecture about appropriate
language, and sent him to his room for 3 hours.
Three hours later little Jimmy emerged looking much humbled and
ready to play some more. He went out to the back yard and flew
the plane around - "whoosh whoosh" and then he landed the plane
and said "All the nice people who wnat to get on, get on, all the
nice people who want to get off, get off - and all you motherfuckers
complaining about the three hour delay can blame the bitch in the
kitchen."
Table O' Contents - Greeting/Top
The Old Alligator Grill is neither an old grill, nor does it serve
old alligator. As a matter of fact, they _do_ serve fresh/frozen
alligator, though - yum, yum! They purport to be a 'cajun' res-
taurant, and as most of the readers of WU can attest - "the farther
from Louisisna, the farther from cajun."
My associate in this cullinary adventure had the filet mignon with
red beans and rice, I had the alligator po'-boy; we shared a plate
of buffalo wings. The closest to cajun was the wings, with a gen-
erous dose of Tobasco(c) - spice of the gods! The red beans and
rice and the po'-boy were good, but not spicy enough by far. The
filet mignon was quite good.
As this restaurant matures, they will surely spice things up, and
hopefully add hush puppies to the menu. For now, though it's a
quality restaurant with only a ghost-hint of cajun cooking.
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From the home office in Sioux City, Iowa ...
9. Busy trying to get Connie Chung pregnant
8. Home watching CBS primetime
7. Playing ping pong with Carol Channing (videotape of Dave and
Carol playing ping pong)
6. Out buying hams for the audience!
5. Was attending a PBS fundraiser with Newt Gingrich
4. Spent entire weekend trying to suck myself into a Pepsi bottle
3. Hypnotized by the sound of Casey Kasem's voice (videotape of
upset Casey in audience storming out)
2. Alone in my room doing some of that Joycelyn Elders stuff
1. I'm Batman!
[Bonus List - Presented by Senator Robert Dole]
6. Get Letterman to pay his speeding tickets
5. Serve canned hams at all White House state dinners
4. Save government ink by replacing long "William Jefferson
Clinton" signature with 70% shorter "Bob Dole" signature
3. Make Gore and Gingrich pay for those good seats at State
of the Union address
2. Fire White House gardeners. Al Gore can earn his keep by
mowing the lawn
1. Arkansas? Sell it
[Music: "Cuts Like a Knife" by Bryan Adams]
Compiled by Sue Trowbridge
The Top Ten List is Copyright (C) 1995 Worldwide Pants, Incorporated.
Used with permission.
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It had humor on all levels from King George trying to force a fart, to
having the cast member with the deepest voice (Barry White competition,
here) reding a female role in "King Lear". It had a draining love
story. It had sexy babes, and buff dudes. See it, and learn some
British history, it can't hurt.
Little Jimmy got a new toy air-o-plane for his birthday.
Jimmy would fly the plane around - "whoosh whoosh" and then he'd
land and say "All the motherfuckers who want to get on,
get on, all the motherfuckers who want to get off, get off."
For those in the Austin area, or planning to visit the Austin area,
here's a brief glimpse of a new South Austin restaurant - The Old
Alligator Grill.
I got so much trouble on my mind
I refuse to lose
Here's your ticket
Hear the drummer get wicked
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From the desk of Late Night watcher, boredB - elvis1@mail.utexas.edu
From New York: Where the corn is as high as an elephant's eye ...
it's THE TOP TEN LIST for Friday, February 3, 1995. And now,
fresh from your grocer's dairy case ... David Letterman!TOP TEN LEAST CONVINCING ALIBIS
TOP SEVEN WAYS TO BALANCE THE BUDGET
----------------------------------------
LATE SHOW WITH DAVID LETTERMAN
11:35 p.m. ET/PT (10:35 CT/MT)
on the CBS Television Network
----------------------------------------
SIGNOFF TOPTEN
To join the list, mail same with the message SUBSCRIBE TOPTEN Your Name
Table O' Contents - Greeting/Top
Let's see if the above directions actually work.
finger barnhart@well.sf.ca.us
[well.sf.ca.us]
The following includes information on only those WELL users who have
specifically chosen to make information about themselves publicly
available. For help contact
hunh!?! it worked.
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If you like history with a face of reality, then you should definitely
catch the latest popular British release "The Madness of King George".
(It's rumored the original title was "The Madness of King George III",
but they figured some people wouldn't watch the movie thinking they
had missed part I and II. If they're that stupid, though, they prob-
ably won't care to see it any way.)
Well, that's it for now, have fun!!!