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|  Johnny Rollerfeet presents...      .  ___          . ___        |
|     The Weekend Update!!          ._  /  /        ._ /  /        |
|     an exclusive for the        .__  /  /__     .__ /  /__       |
|    Weekend Update Krewe!!      ._ _ (      )  ._ _ (      )      |
| (?s, !s, and ideas welcome!!)  .___ ()()()()  .___ ()()()()      |
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|              --- An Original Electronic 'Zine ---                |
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For those of you who don't personally know me, this past week presented a combination tragedy/travesty. Thursday night (for everyone not in the Austin area) was the last night for the best show on TV today - "My So-Called Life". In the Austin area, the idiot program manager for ABC pre-empted the show with a SuperBowl special (and since the Super Bowl was so exciting and surprising - boy, wasn't that a great idea). The show was re-broadcast on Saturday night at 10:30, though.

There are SEVERAL campaigns going on to save the show; most of them started right here in virtual space. If you have any interest in the show, and are willing to devote a few minutes to adding your voice to ours then write me.

Table of Contents

Video Review

With several known actors, and a famous director you'd think you would have heard of Brewster McCloud...

A Visitor

I'm blessed from the Sports Diety with an angel...of sorts...

Bumper Stickers III

Another brief installment of bumper sticker news.

Creation via Batch Mode

God created the world in 7 days, on a mainframe?

The Signature Virus

Fight 'the Green Card' lawyers with e-trash!

Friday night was rental night, and let me tell you: There are some _strange_ movies out there. Fans of 'Harold and Maude' will remember Bud Cort as the owl-eyed melancholy Harold. (People who haven't seen 'Harold and Maude' should understand that H&M is as important to counter-culture in the '70s as 'Heathers' was in the late '80s.)

Bud appeared in a movie the year before 'H&M'-1971 in an even more bizarre film called 'Brewster McCloud'. Brewster lives in the base- ment of the Astrodome and is building himelf a set of wings. He hasn't yet discovered lust, and his accomplice in murder is doing her best to keep it that way. The accomplice, Louise, is played by the beautiful Sally Kellerman. A true synopsis of this movie is impossible w/o 4-5 pages, so just rent the movie, ok.

By the way, I got all this information (and there's more, to boot) from Cardiff's Internet Movie Database - http://www.msstate.edu/Movies/.

Saturday night held a few surprises. There was an even longer than usual line at Proteus, and I thought I'd have to stand in it - until Daniel, the owner, stepped outside and recognized me and my friend (and he let us in free - yes, you can touch me, but only once ; ) ). The club was wall-to-wall on both floors and loud! For the first time ever, I actually saw Justin - the 300+ pound fu-man-chu-lookin' bouncer - break up a fight.

After the club, on the way up to my apartment, I ran into a large LARGE black man by the pool. His friends didn't seem to be at home in their apartment and he needed a phone to page them with, so I invited him up to my place. He was really nice and chatted with us about his new notebook while he waited for his pals to call him back. Well, his friends never called, and as he was leaving he mentioned he was gonna hunt down Mike and Lovell and that if his recently-paged friend ever did call to tell him that Stony was looking for him.

STONY CLARK was in my apartment! Stony's one of the top defensive players for UT AND HE WAS IN MY APARTMENT! Wow.

From bradyo@minerva.cis.yale.edu

Also, I have seen seen university-style stickers for car windows that say "Starfleet Academy"--probably old news to Trekkies, but I thought I'd pass it on just in case...

Table O' Contents - Greeting/Top

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Monday, March 2.
:Let there be firmament in the midst of the water and
#Unrecognizable command! Try again!
:Create firmament.
#Done.
:Run firmament.
#And God divided the waters. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Monday, March 2.
#Approx. funds remaining: $84.60.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
:Let the waters under heaven be gathered together unto one place and let the dry land appear and
#Too many characters in string specification! Try again.
:Create dryland.
#Done!
:Run dryland.
#And God created Earth and Seas. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Tuesday, March 3.
#Approx. funds remaining: $65.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
:Create lights in the firmament to divide the day from the night.
#Unspecified type. Try again!
:Create sunmoonstars.
#And God created Sun, Moon, Stars. And God saw there were 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Wednesday, March 4.
#Approx. funds remaining: $54:00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
:Create fish.
#Done.
:Create fowl.
#Done.
:Run fish'nfowl.
#And God created the great seamonsters and every living creature
that creepeth wherewith the waters swarmed after its kind and every
winged fowl after its kind. 0 errors.
#And God signed off at 12:01 a.m., Thursday, March 5.
#Approx. funds remaining: $45.00.

#And God signed on at 12:00 a.m., Friday, March 6.
:Create cattle.
#Done.
:Create creepy things.
#Done.
:Now let us make man in our image.
#Unspecified type! Try again.
:Create man.
#Done.
:Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over of the fowl of the air and over every living thing that creepeth upon the earth.
#Too many command operands! Try again.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 6 errors.
:Insert breath.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 5 errors.
:Move man to Garden of Eden.
#Error: File Garden of Eden does not exist.
:Create Gard.En.
#Done.
:Move man to Gard.En.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 4 errors.
:Copy woman from man.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 3 errors.
:Insert woman into man.
#Illegal parameters. Try again!
:Insert man into woman.
#O.K.
:Run multiplication.
#Execution terminated. 2 errors.
:Create desire.
#Done.
:Run multiplication.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create freewill.
#Done.
:Run freewill.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Undo desire.
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Help!
#Desire cannot be undone once freewill is created.
#Freewill is an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
#Enter replacement, cancel, or ask for help.
:Create Treeofknowledge.
#And God saw man'nwoman being fruitful and multiplying in the Gard.En.
#Warning: No time limit on this run. 1 errors.
:Create good'nevil.
#Done.
:Activate evil.
#And God saw he had created shame.
#Warning: System error in sector E95. Man'nwoman not in Gard.En.
#1 errors.
:Scan Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Man'nwoman cannot be located. Try again!
:Search Gard.En. for man'nwoman.
#Search failed.
:Delete shame.
#Shame cannot be deleted once evil has been activated.
:Destroy freewill.
#Freewill an inaccessible file and cannot be destroyed.
:Stop!
#Unrecognizable command. Try again.
:Break
:Break
:Break
#ATTENTION ALL USERS ATTENTION ALL USERS: COMPUTER GOING DOWN FOR REGULAR DAY OF MAINTENANCE AND REST IN FIVE MINUTES. PLEASE SIGN OFF.

:Create new world.
#You have exceeded your allotted file space. You must destroy old files before new ones can be created.
:Destroy earth.
#Destroy earth. Please confirm.
:Destroy earth confirmed.
#COMPUTER DOWN. COMPUTER DOWN. SERVICES WILL RESUME ON SUNDAY MARCH 8 AT 6:00 A.M. YOU MUST SIGN OFF NOW!
#And God signed off at 11:59 p.m., Friday, March 6.
#And God saw that he had zero funds remaining.

Table O' Contents - Greeting/Top

I saw the following .sig:

The signature virus turns good: Canter and Siegel appear to archive
all posts referring to themselves (can you say "grepping for liable cases"?).
Get revenge on the sociopathic spammers.  Fill their disk and waste their time
by including the words "Canter", "Siegel" and "Green Card" in your .signature.

For the clueless: Canter and Siegel are the assholes who put a 'full page' ad in EVERY Usenet newsgroup they had access to, to advertise their 'green card' services to illegal aliens. Some people think I'm wasteful of bandwidth, but these guys take the cake!

I hope everyone had an enjoyable SuperBowl weekend, and remember: The more you submit to the WU, the better it gets!!! }:)