Hip-hop Apostrophe.
This week we are blessed with another joke issue. Let me tell you,
this issue is chock full o' jokes. We got more jokes than you can
shake a stick at -- DON'T EVEN PICK THAT STICK UP, MISTER! Thanks
to everyone who sent stuff in, and SHAME, SHAME to the people who
submitted OJ jokes. You know I won't print anymore of them. It's
just too much.
If you're in the Austin area this week, be sure to catch HSO (http:
//www.eden.com/~etrigan/hso) at Hole in the Wall on Wednesday. Not
only are we blessed to have them play here, but we're doubly blessed
that Miss Universe is opening. (Who's Miss Universe, you ask?!?
Imagine if the Go-Go's had more get-up-n-go.)
I'd like to apologize about getting your hopes up for the XTC trib-
ute album on last Tuesday, but you couldn't have made as much an ass
of yourself as I did whipping into the CD store just as the doors
were unlocked to grab the first copy only to be dis'ed by the pizza
faced goatee boy behind the counter for not being _quite_ as "in
tune" to the hip scene as he is... Of course it's not nearly as
dissapointing as spending the rest of your days and nights wondering
about the ducks... (http://linex.com:80/~alibee/ducks.html). The
XTC tribute album is out _this_ week (along with Melon Collie and the
Infinite Sadness from Smushed Gourds.)
*********************************************************************
[ From the SquidMan kmembry@internetMCI.COM comes a quick ]
[ URL for all you who want your fonts already decoded and ]
[ ripe for the plucking. ]
http://www.winternet.com/~paulley/fonts/fonts.html
it's the alt.binaries.fonts archive, not much but getting better all
de time!
*********************************************************************
[ From "self-employed" SquidMan, kmembry@internetMCI.COM ]
http://www.winsite.com
it's where CICA moved to, they have a T1 and everything
(it just went up [last week])
you can use ftp.winsite.com, but the www allows a menu with
descriptions (I emailed the webmaster about getting file
sizes on the screen as well)
[ CICA has always been a great resource for getting ]
[ software from the 'net. Kudos to them for going WWW ]
[ and a big thanks to Kmembry for pointing this out. ]
*********************************************************************
[ I'm not sure if I remember who sent me this. It could have ]
[ been my un-wired (but always joke-having) co-worker, but the ]
[ tastelessness leads me to believe tankboy@eden.com could've ]
[ sent it. ]
The Top 10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex:
10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy.
4. If you wear a Bill Clinton mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
AND....
1. If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door!!!
Happy Halloween.
*********************************************************************
[ This is definitely from my joke-ful unwired co-worker. ]
[ What is it about her that she gets more jokes sent to ]
[ her than anyone else? I best keep my mouth shut. ]
Here you go Mr. J-
[ ..and where does she get off calling me Mr. J? ]
Bill and Fred had been out driving through the countryside and were on
their way back to the city. Bill was at the wheel. As they approached
the city limits, the first traffic light turned red. Seeing this, Bill
stomped on the gas and the car plowed right on through the intersection,
against the light, leaving the sounds of screeching metal and squealing
brakes behind.
Fred came pretty close to peeing his pants.
"ARE YOU NUTS?" screamed Fred. "We could've been KILLED back there!"
Bill, serenely unconcerned by Fred's reaction, waved a hand negligently
and said: "Relax. My brother Bob does this all the time. It's OK.
Believe me."
Fred still thought Bill was nuts, but relaxed until the next traffic
light loomed, and as they approached it, it turned red. Once again Bill
stomped on the gas and bullied his way through the intersection, against
the light.
Again, Fred yelled at him: "Are you out of your MUCKING FIND? You're
gonna get us killed! Let me out at the next corner!"
Bill was still smiling as he said to Fred: "Will you calm down, already?
It's cool. My brother Bob does this all the time. Nothing ever happens."
So Fred subsided as they drove on; and when they approached the next light,
and it turned red, and Bill started to accelerate, Fred dove into the back
seat. Bill started to laugh and said, "Will you stop being so paranoid?
I keep telling you, my brother Bob drives like this ALL the time. Nothing
has ever happened to HIM."
So this went on for a half-dozen or so more lights, with Bill speeding
through them when they turned red. By this time, Fred just remained
cowering on the floor behind the front seat, and all of Bill's assurances
about his brother Bob fell on deaf ears.
All of a sudden, Fred found himself being smushed into the back of the front
seat, while the car labored to stop, brakes squealing, the smell of burning
tires wafting in, every molecule of the vehicle straining against every
other molecule in a heroic effort to cease moving. Finally the car was
still. Fred stuck his head up and looked out the front window to see what
was going on. All he saw was an intersection with a traffic light. And it
was GREEN!
"What the hell's going on? You've run EVERY red light since we entered
town, and now the light's *green*, and you're just SITTING here?" Fred
asked incredulously.
"Well, hey," said Bill, "*I* ain't gonna enter that intersection, no way,
no how."
Fred, beside himself, screamed, "Why the hell NOT? The light's GREEN!
You've just run every red light, saying 'If my brother BOB can do it, so
can I'. What's the problem?"
"Well, that's just it", replied Bill. "I can't go out there when the light's
GREEN, because BOB might be coming the other way!"
*********************************************************************
[ And more from "the un-wired co-worker...ok, let's just call ]
[ her "Crouqette" from now on. ]
The other day I went to the local religious book store, where I
saw a HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS bumper sticker. I bought it and put it on
the back bumper of my car, and I'm really glad I did. What an uplifting
experience followed!
I was stopped at the light at a busy intersection, just lost in
thought about the Lord, and didn't notice that the light had changed.
That bumper sticker really worked! I found lots of people who love Jesus.
Why, the guy behind me started to honk like crazy. He must REALLY
love the Lord because pretty soon, he leaned out his window and yelled,
"Jesus Christ!" as loud as he could. It was like a football game with
him shouting, "GO JESUS CHRIST,GO!"
Everyone else started honking, too, so I leaned out my window and
waved and smiled to all of those loving people.
There must have been a guy from Florida back there because I could
hear him yelling something about a sunny beach, and saw him waving in a
funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air.
I asked my two kids what that meant. They kind of squirmed, looked
at each other, giggled and told me that it was the Hawaiian good luck sign.
So, I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.
Several cars behind, a very nice black man stepped out of his car
and yelled something. I couldn't hear him very well, but it sounded like,
"Mother trucker," or "Mother's from there." Maybe he was from Florida,
too. He must really love the Lord.
A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment
that they got out of their cars and were walking toward me. I bet they
wanted to pray, but just then I noticed that the light had changed to
yellow, and stepped on the gas.
And a good thing I did, because I was the only driver to get
across the intersection. I looked back at them standing there. I leaned
way out the window, gave them a big smile and held up the Hawaiian good
luck sign as I drove away.
Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks.
*********************************************************************
[ From the unusually silent Greek Boy, stavros@eden.com, ]
[ comes: Song of the Week, which he forwarded from some ]
[ news group. ]
I am promoting a song of the week featuring a live recording of various
artists. There is a new .wav file for downloading every week. This week
I have a live recording of The Cure's "Just Like Heaven". Submissions and
comments are welcomed.
http://rohan.sdsu.edu/faculty/rosebud/homepage/bootlegs.html
*********************************************************************
[ I'm being really lax in my duties. This always happens when ]
[ I put out a joke issue. I have no idea who sent this one to ]
[ me but it's one of the best, so thanks stanger! ]
Classifieds Defined
What the Job Says What it Means
***************** *************
Advancement Opportunity Shit job.
Entry level Really a shit job.
No experience necessary The mother of all shit jobs.
Administrative assistant Shit job with a title.
Ground floor opportunity Shit job with a company that will file
bankruptcy within a year.
Progressive company Employees go to work in jeans every
other Friday.
Team player Must deal with dangerously territorial
co-workers with rabid personalities.
Upbeat personality Must neither threaten us with any kind
of lawsuit nor use the drug & alcohol
rehab benefit within the first year.
Word processing skills essential There's a crippling case of carpal
tunnel syndrome in your future.
Public relations Receptionist.
Professional appearance important $20 K/yr job that requires a $100K/yr
wardrobe.
Pleasant telephone mannner Be the voice of 1-900-SUCK.
Earn up to $300/hour! Be 1-900-SUCK.
Salary range $24,000 to $32,000 The salary is $24,000.
Jeans job! Minimum wage temp job in concentration
camp conditions.
Will train Prior conviction of a felony or two no
problem.
B.A. required, master's preferred Must be an M.A. willing to work on a
B.A.'s salary.
Civil service This job was filled from the inside
six months ago.
Women & minorities encouraged
to apply White males need not waste the stamp.
Outstanding benefits package Health insurance.
Tons of variety! We took all the heinous tasks no other
employee would do and rolled them into
one job.
Top-notch communication skills Telemarketing.
Beautiful offices in attractive
location Brand new ticky-tacky windowless
building where the picture frames all
match the carpeting.
Secretary Woman-only job with the
responsibilities
of management and wages of a migrant
worker.
Executive secretary The most powerful position in any
company.
Dedicated You're looking at a minimum of 80 hours
a week from now until we force you
into early retirement.
Salary commensurate We'll pay you up to 10 percent more than
your last job, and not one penny more.
Competitive starting salary Ten cents above minimum wage.
Pleasant atmosphere A staff of pod people.
Professional atmosphere Zombie pod people.
Fun, creative atmosphere Pod people from Hell.
Dynamic atmosphere Zombie pod people from Hell.
Self-starter Open to very broad interpretation since
no one really knows what this means.
Gal-Friday Anyone who actually applies for this
job deserves it.
*********************************************************************
[ She just never runs out. She must have her joke machine ]
[ runnning on a Duracell. It's ok though, she doesn't look ]
[ anything like those inhuman creatures in the commercials. ]
Johnny-
You'll like this one.
[ ...and this time she got my name right! ]
General Motors Help Desk
What if people bought cars like they buy computers?
General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't know how to
drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy computers. But imagine
if they did...
-----
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door and nothing happened!"
HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?"
CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"
HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and
turns over the engine."
CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all
of these technical terms just to use my car?"
-----
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!"
HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"
CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"
HELPLINE: "There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and
markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?"
CUSTOMER: "I see an 'E' but no 'F'."
HELPLINE: "You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.
CUSTOMER: "No, just to the right of the first 'E' is a 'V'.
HELPLINE: "A 'V'?!?"
CUSTOMER: "Yeah, there's a 'C', an 'H', the first 'E', then a 'V', followed
by 'R', 'O', 'L' ..."
HELPLINE: "No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind
the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about."
CUSTOMER: "That steering wheel thingy - Is that the round thing that honks
the horn?"
HELPLINE: "Yes, among other things."
CUSTOMER: "The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?"
HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase
some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the
vendor to install it for you."
CUSTOMER: "What? I paid $18,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have
to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with
everything built in!"
-----
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Your cars suck!"
HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"
CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"
HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"
CUSTOMER: "I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the
way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed -
and now it won't even start up!"
HELPLINE: "I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the
product."
CUSTOMER: "Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It
said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press
the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did - now the damn
thing's crashed."
HELPLINE: "Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the
car sir?"
CUSTOMER: "What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual
said and it didn't work!"
HELPLINE: "Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't crash?"
CUSTOMER: "How do you do THAT?"
HELPLINE: "You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The
pedal next to the accelerator."
CUSTOMER: "Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual
you know."
HELPLINE: "Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?"
CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast
and won't crash anymore!"
-----
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it
has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power
brakes, and power door locks."
HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"
CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"
HELPLINE: "Do you know how to DRIVE?"
CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!"
*********************************************************************
[ Greek Boy wants to be sure you know filth. ]
[ I guess it's best to learn from the master. ]
[ (...better hope Yia-yia don't ever see this.) ]
2,443 Filthy Words and Phrases Compiled by George Carlin
http://www.wam.umd.edu/~wrongway/dirty-words-big.htm
*********************************************************************
[ I have no idea who Bryan Mau is and I'd bet he's never heard ]
[ of me or the WU, but I came across his sig and it gave me a ]
[ warm fuzzy, so I had to share it with you. ]
|\ _,,,---,,_ Bryan Mau
ZZZzz /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,_ Schlumberger/Geoquest
|,4- ) )-,_. ,\ ( `'-' (512) 331-3386 (voice)
'---''(_/--' `-'\_) email: bmau@slb.com 331-3394 (fax)
*********************************************************************
[ This is from an un-wired coworker who works in the same ]
[ department as Croqette...I need a name for these strange ]
[ people who send me stuff but aren't wired -- any ideas? ]
A man pulls into a gas station and spots a sign that says: `Fill up and get
a free f@*k!'
He fills the car and asks the attendant about his free f@*k.
"Sure, sir," says the attendant. "But the law says we can only give out
prizes in these competitions if you answer a question correctly."
"OK," says the man.
"What number between one and ten am I thinking of?" says the attendant.
"Seven!" says the man.
"Bad luck," replies the attendant. "It was number eight."
The man shakes his head and rides off thinking the whole thing's just a
scam. A few miles up the road he pulls in at a cafe to get something to eat
and gets talking to the fellow behind the counter.
"That gas station up the road's a rip-off," he says.
"Why's that?" asks the cafe owner.
"That bullshit scam about a free f@*k with every tank of gas," replies the
man. "The bloke just picks any number that you don't!"
"No way," says the cafe owner. "It's for real. Last week my wife won
twice!"
*********************************************************************
[ Again, my failure shows through. Odds are that whoever sent ]
[ this was credited elsewhere in this issue, so just give credit ]
[ to whomever you feel like giving it to... ]
Elephant joke
So, this big, huge elephant is slowly walking through the jungle.
She's so pleased to be alive on such a beautiful day. The birds are
singing, the monkeys are playing in the trees, the whole jungle is
alive on this gorgeous day! As Ms. Elephant is making her journey
through the jungle, she suddenly screams out in pain,
"OOOWWWWW!!!!!"
She looks down at her right, front foot. To her horror she sees a big,
black thorn protruding from the side of her soft foot. She couldn't
move. The pain was unbearable.
"Oh, God." she weeps. "What ever am I going to do?"
Luckily, just about this time, an tiny, little ant happens by. He
scurries over to the sobbing elephant.
"What's wrong, babe?" he asks in his raspy voice.
"Oh. Well, I, uh, sorta got a thorn stuck in my foot, BOO HOO HOO!"
Ms. Elephant cries.
"Don't worry, sugar, I'll get that nasty thorn out. But, you will have
to repay me for my services." he boldly states.
"Um, ok, what do you have in mind?" she sobs wearily.
"I'll get this thorn out, then we have passionate sex. Got it?!"
"OK." replies the dumb, naive elephant.
It didn't take long for stud ant to march up to the thorn (which was
slightly bigger than himself) and began to pull. He tugged and pulled
with all of his might. Finally, the thorn popped out, throwing the
tiny guy on his back. The elephant began to smile in relief. The ant
hopped to his tiny feet.
"AHHH... Thank you so, Mr. Ant..."
"Ready for me, baby?"
Forgetting what she had promised, the elephant reluctantly nodded her
head in agreement. The ant was already climbing up her huge, hind leg.
Talking dirty to her as he slowly made his way up to her rump! The
birds were chirping loudly as the monkeys in the trees were going
crazy. At the same time the little ant began to approach the base of
her tail, one of the monkeys had settled down to take notice. Mr. Ant
made his way under Ms. Elephant's tail, all the time whispering dirty
nothings. Poor elephant was simply standing there feeling humiliated
having to endure all of this sex torture. Just about this time kid
monkey decides to grab hold of a coconut. He hurls it directly at Ms.
Elephant's head, right when tiny ant is "giving it" to her rump! The
coconut smacks the elephant square in the head.
"AHHH... GOD!!!!!" moans the elephant.
"Take it all bitch." replies the ant.
*********************************************************************
[ Haven't seen me finding any of my own stuff lately? Well, ]
[ that's 'cause I have to have the best or none at all. You ]
[ have to check out the Levi's (the blue jeans people) home ]
[ page. Hunt through it hard enough and you can find Mac ]
[ versions of Reason #121 "...Boombastic, Mr. Fantastic..."! ]
[ (I'll try to convert the ones I've seen to PC files just ]
[ watch for http://www.eden.com/~etrigan/boom.html). ]
http://www.levi.com/
*********************************************************************
[ ...and going, and going,... Thanks, Croquette. ]
A Priest and a Nun...
A priest and a nun are on their way back home from a trip when their car
breaks down. They are unable to get it fixed, so they decide to spend the
night in a hotel. The only hotel in the town has only one room available.
Priest: Sister, I don't think the Lord would have a problem, under the
circumstances, if we spent the night together in this one room. I'll sleep
on the lounge and you have the bed.
Nun: I think that would be okay.
They prepare for bed and each one takes their agreed place in the room. Ten
minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm terribly cold.
Priest: Okay, I'll get you a blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold.
Priest: Okay Sister, I'll get you another blanket. (He does)
Ten minutes later...
Nun: Father, I'm still terribly cold. I don't think the Lord would mind if we
acted as man and wife
just for this one night.
Priest: You're probably right...get up and get your own damn blanket.
________________________________________________________________________________
The Reverend John Fuzz...
The Reverend John Fuzz was pastor of a small congregation in a little
Pennsylvania town. One day he was walking down Main Street and he happened to
notice a female member of his congregation sitting in the town bar, drinking
beer. The reverend thought this was sinful and not something a member of his
congregation should do, so he walked through the open door of the bar and sat
down next to the woman.
"Mrs. Fitzgerald," the reverend said sternly. "This is no place for a member of
my congregation.
Why don't you let me take you home?"
"Shure," she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs. Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave back and forth.
The reverend realized that she had had too much to drink and he grabbed hold of
her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost their balance and tumbled to
the floor. After rolling around for a few seconds, the reverend wound up lying
on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The bartender looked over the bar and said, "Here, here, buddy, we won't have
any of that carrying on in this bar."
The reverend looked up at the bartender and said, "But you don't understand, I'm
Pastor Fuzz."
The bartender nodded. "Well if you're that far you may as well finish."
________________________________________________________________________________
Arthritis
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a
priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick
and he had a half empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his
newspaper and started reading---a couple of minutes later he asked the priest,
"Father what causes arthritis"?
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much
alcohol and contempt for your fellow man".
"Well I'll be damned", the drunk muttered and returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he said turned to the man and apologized. "I'm
sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong---how long have you had arthritis"?
"I don't, father, I was just reading in the paper that the Pope has it".
________________________________________________________________________________
St Peter Gets Bored
St Peter gets fed up with standing at the pearly gates and giving or denying
access to Heaven. Jesus offers to take over. A man comes up to him.
"I'm looking for my son." he says
"And who are you" says Jesus
"I suppose I'm the closest this he has to a Father." says the man
"What do you do?" asks Jesus curiously
"I suppose you could say I'm a carpenter" says the man
"And does your son have holes in his hands and feet?" asks Jesus excitedly.
"He does!" shouts the man
"DADDY!" shouts Jesus
"PINNOCHIO!" shouts Guisseppe
*********************************************************************
[ From kmembry@internetMCI.COM the Squidmeister comes a classic. ]
A guy is walking along and trips over a magic lantern, releasing the genie.
The genie pops out and says, "Wow, I've been in there for so long, I'm so
grateful, I'm going to try and grant you any wish you desire."
So the guy pulls out a map, points to the Middle East, and says "It would
really make me happy if you put these countries at peace."
The genie takes a look, and says "You know, these countries have been at
war almost since the beginning of time, even before I was stuck in that damn
lantern. That's going to be really tough. Is there anything else you'd like?"
The man responds, "Well, I'd really like it if my wife would voluntarily
give me a blowjob once a month."
The genie paused a second, and said "...Can I see that map again?"
*********************************************************************
[ More from kmembry@internetMCI.COM. This ]
[ time in the geek joke arena! ]
Macintosh Airlines: All the ticket counters look the same, the
terminals look the same, the baggage handlers look the same as the
pilots. When you inquire as to why, you're told, "Sit down, shut
up, you don't need to know, please enjoy the ride."
Windows 3.1 Airlines: The terminals are nice, the clerks are friend-
ly. The flight leaves on time and the take off is uneventful...
then the pilot mumbles something about "general protection fault" and
the plane explodes, falling out of the sky in a fiery ball.
Unix Airlines: Every passanger arrives at the gate with a piece of
the plane. A large disagreement then starts over what type of plane
to build and where to fly it to.
Next Airlines: The passengers assemble on the runway in the shape of
a plane and make whoooshing noises.
OS/2 Airlines: Looks and feels like Windows 3.1, clean, comfortable,
friendly service...but with no destinations or departing flights...??
DOS Airlines: The passenger finds a note at the gate to "Board the
Plane." After doing so, he finds a shrink wrapped user's guide on the
pilot seat.
Windows 95 Airlines: After a long, tedious, flight preparation ritual
and probing baggage check during which his wallet goes missing, the
passanger boards the plane, enjoys the in-flight movie (after spending
an hour with technical support), lands and de-planes only to discover
he is standing at the ticket counter for MAC Airlines and the year is
1984!
*********************************************************************
[ The SquidMan is almost as joke prolific as Croquette. We ]
[ better keep the two of them apart or the offspring would ]
[ kill us with jokes. ]
Q. What does the Jewish Superman say?
A. Up, up, and Oy Vay!
*********************************************************************
I leave you with a quick review of "How To Make An American Quilt".
I'll say this as many times as I can and be happy to repeat until I'm
blue in the face. I love the return of the classic cinema drama.
This movie was so sincerely touching that stavros' signifigant other
was leaking from the tear ducts the entire second half of the movie.
With Maya Angelou, Ann Bancroft, Winnona Ryder, Samnatha Mathis, Claire
Daines, and "that girl who plays the old-becky-and-now-the-new-becky on
Rosanne" you've got a cast that will sweep you away. This is definitely
a Full Price. (and quite a date movie IF you can get a date...)