Slim Pickin's

I thought the least I could do was leave a smile on your face, so here are two excerpts from an extremely handy pocket book I picked up on the drag - "wicked SPANISH For the Traveler".

Love in the Time of Severe Abdominal Cramps

AiAiAi
You make me hot, my chili pepper.Me calientas mucho, chilito mio.May cah-lee En-tahs MOO-choh, chee-LEE-toh MEE-oh.
Am I in heaven or in hell??Estoy en el cielo o en el infierno?Es-TOY en el see-AY-loh oh en el enn-fee-AIR-noh?
If you love me, my little refried bean, fetch the thermometer.Si me amas, mi frijolito refrito, traime el termometro.See may AH-mas, mee free-ho-LEE-toh ray-FREE-toh, tra-EE-meh el ter-MOH-may-troh.
Yes, As I suspected.Si. Como lo sospechaba.See. COH-moh loh soas-pay-CHAH-bah.
One hundred four and a half defrees.Ciento cuatro y medio grados.See-EHN-toh KWA-troh ee MEH-dee-oh GRAH-dohs.
I am near death.Estoy cerca de la muerte.Ess-TOY SAIR-kah day la MWER-tay.
Love me but once more before I die, my little empanada.Amame una ultima vez antes de que me muera, mi pequena empanada.Ah-may-may OO-nah OOL-tee-mah vase ahn-tes day kay may MWAIR-ah, mee pay-KAIN-yah em-pah-NAH-dah.
Wait! Holy Mother of God!!Espera! !Santa Madre de Dios!Ess-PAIR-ah! SAHN-tah MAH-dray day dee-OHS!
I must get back to the bathroom!!Tengo que volver al bano!TEN-go kay vohl-VAIR ahl BAHN-yoh!

For Women Only: Coin-A-Curse

A lone woman may be the object of rude comments from Spanish-speaking men. The best respone is silence, but some victims insist on counter-attack.

Create your own invective from the columns below. Asjectives follow nouns. Begin with a word from column C and add words from A and B, as in rat de al cantarilla incontinente sin dientes (toothless incontinent sewer rat).

ABC
filthy
cochino
/co-CHEE-noh/		polyester-clad
revestido en poliester
/reh-VEHS-tee-doh ehn POH-lee-ES-tair/		butcher boy
nino carnicero
/NEEN-yoh CAR-nee-SAY-roh/
toothless
sin dientes
/seen dee-EN-tays/		incontinent
incontinente
/in-CON-teen-EN-tay/		sewer rat
rata de al cantarilla
/RA-tah day al KAN-tah-ree-yah/
cretinous
cretino
/cray-TEE-noh/		ill-bred
malnacido
/mahl-nah-SEED-oh/		maggot-mouth
boca de gusano
/BOH-kah day goo-SAH-noh/
squirming
retorcido
/ray-TOHR-see-doh/		frog-lippedlabios de sapo
/LAH-bee-ohs-deh SAH-poh/		midget
enano
/ay-NOH-noh/
NOTE: Men who value their lives should never utter these phrases.

There were also Japanese, French and Italian versions. They are published by WORKMAN Publishing - New York.