Invictus – Did anyone see this in the theater? I bet it was good…just not as good as all the Oscar winners it was released against.

When in Rome [Blu-ray] – The critics hated this, and despite my massive crush on Kristen Bell, I listened to them and never saw it.

Greatest American Hero: The Complete Series – I think there’s a parallel between this getting released within a week of “Heroes” getting canceled. Both of them started with promise and ended with whackness.

Tokyo Gore Police 1.5 (2pc) (Dub Sub) – This Fantastic Fest favorite gets a “Special Edition” release. This is one of those movies that if you haven’t heard of it, it probably isn’t your thing.

p.s. Also being released today is Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus [Blu-ray], a movie that got a lot of buzz just for the title, but I don’t remember anyone saying they liked it.

District 13: Ultimatum [Blu-ray] or District B13/District 13: Ultimatum 2-Pack [Blu-ray] – The plot for B13’s sequel is weak, but it leaves plenty of opportunity for some action-tastic awesomeness. If you liked the first one for the acrobatic parkour and fighting choreography, you’ll find a lot of fun in this one.

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus [Blu-ray] – Set aside the heart-warming fact that Heath Ledger’s friends stepped up to help finish this movie after his tragic death. Set aside how magically Terry Gilliam wove the pieces of this film that was doomed to remain incomplete. Set all that aside, and I think this is exactly the kind of carnival show that we want from Terry Gilliam. It was one of my favorite movies last year and I can’t wait to watch it again.

WTF?: Four Twenty-One – check out the review on Amazon, “…about how our government used to use young boys to track down aliens…”

Collateral [Blu-ray] – I really am trying to avoid Blu-Ray upgrades “in this economy” but the cinematography on this great thriller is worth it. Was this before or after we found out Tom Cruise was crazy?

An Education [Blu-ray] – One of the best movies of last year, I am moved by Carey Mulligan’s performance, and the story is one of those capitol-I Important ones.

Sherlock Holmes (Limited-Edition Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy) – I was not very impressed, which in contrast to my love of the character makes the movie disappointing.

Sports Night: Season One – This is possibly my favorite TV show of all time, but I don’t think I can be suckered into buying it again. How many freaking DVD versions of one cancelled TV show can they make?

Lastly, here are a couple items that popped up on my list that intrigue me, but I can’t bring myself to risk the $ on them: High Kick Girl and Girly (aka Mumsy, Nanny, Sonny and Girly) (1969)

Ninja Assasin (Blu-ray/DVD Combo + Digital Copy) – As cartoonishly violent and rock-n-roll fun as the trailer suggests, Rain (Korean pop superstar) was the perfect man to star in this movie.

Vengeance Trilogy (Sympathy for Mr. Vegeance/Oldboy/Lady Vengeance) – If you just can’t wait until June 15th for the Blu-ray version, or if you only have a DVD player, then this is a perfect violent Korean art-house counterbalance to the American-made Korean-starring Ninja Assassin.

The Princess and The Frog (Three Disc Blu-ray/DVD Combo with Digital Copy) – I’ve heard so many mixed reviews for Disney’s first traditionally cel-animated movie in decades that I couldn’t bring myself to watch it.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon [Blu-ray] – On top of all the things you can say are stupid about the Twilight series, add that they decided to release their movie on Saturday instead of Tuesday. This reeks of the worst (and most pointless) marketing ideas that exist.

Twilight in Forks-Saga of the Real Town – The leeches trying to make money from the Twilight series are perfectly on schedule. (Maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe someone with a good heart really felt strongly about the real town behind the fictional story.)

Bandslam – My wife LOVES any movie that ends in a dance-off or similar situation, and this teen flick does have a freshness rating of !!! 80% !!!, so I bet I get to see it soon.

Billy: The Early Years Of Billy Graham – I was raised in an evangelical church in the `80’s, so this biopic starring Martin Landau, directed by 70/80`s Teen Beat cover boy Robby Benson is a must see.

Smash Cut – I avoided this at Fantastic Fest last year (despite being the Adam Green short lead-in) and the reviews verify that it’s a stinker.

Up in the Air [Blu-ray] – There’s a reason both women were nominated for Best Supporting Actress, the movie was nominated for Best Film and Jason Reitman is no longer a phenom, but an expert director.

Precious: Based on the Novel – I haven’t seen this yet, but sources I trust assure me there is more under the hood than the after-school-special trailer leads you to believe.

The Stoning of Soraya M. [Blu-ray] – I missed this in theaters, but the (based on a true) story of a journalist in a middle east village where a brave woman is willing to tell the truth intrigues me. (This is also available on Netflix’s watch-it-now.)

The Brothers Warner – I love to hear stories about the actual people behind film (or film behemoths) so I’m excited to got to see this.

Gigante A festival film with a 92% freshness rating…and I haven’t seen it. Good thing it’s on Netflix’s watch-it-now.

Scarecrow and Mrs. King: The Complete First Season – I have a friend who is probably waiting at the Best Buy right now so she can rush in and snatch up a copy before they’re sold out.

Where the Wild Things Are [Blu-ray] – Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers really did a number to this classic children’s book. It is not the playful romp, read before bed. It is a deeply beautiful treatise on strongly bonded friendships: making them, keeping them, losing them. It isn’t so much a departure from the book as it is a mature facet of a story that could lie beneath the surface.

We Live In Public – There are so many layers of narcissism in this documentary (about a man who could be credited with inventing the concepts of content for online streaming video) that you may mistakenly accept the underlying conceit that technology will be responsible for the end of privacy. Don’t believe the technophobes and their conspiracy theories.

Zombieland [Blu-ray] – This was the one of the best movies of 2009. It’s funny, well-shot, well-acted. It’s nearly perfect.

Walk the Line [Blu-ray] – Reese Witherspoon delivers one of the best female performances of all time. Is it a reflection of the force of June Carter Cash’s role in Johnny Cash’s life? This is an upgrade I have no trouble making.

Spiral [Blu-ray] – I love Amber Tamblyn, and I think this is Joel David Moore and Adam Green at the top of their game. This goes on the creepy shelf right next to Psycho.

The House of the Devil [Blu-ray] – I made the mistake of seeing Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever the same week I had The House of the Devil on my schedule. After the stinky mess of CF2:SF I couldn’t imaging that THofD was worth seeing, but all the 80’s horror fans love it. I’ll probably catch it streaming online.

Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior [Blu-ray] and Ong Bak 2: The Beginning [Blu-ray] – I hear Ong Bak 2 is pretty bad, and I’m not sure I’m ready to buy Ong Bak a fourth time, even if it’s better quality.

Universal Soldier: Regeneration [Blu-ray] – After the phenomenal JCVD my hopes were up that this reunion of Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren would be at least tolerable, but this movie sucks hard.

Jack Ketchum’s The Girl Next Door [Blu-ray] is nothing like that other The Girl Next Door movie. The latter is a cheap comedy about an empowered porn star and her underage peeping-tom neighbor. The former is a master-crafted (based on a true) story about a girl who is abused and tortured. This is one of those films that draws the line for how a really well made movie can be almost unwatchable due to the nature of the story.

The Music Man [Blu-ray] – I loves me a good musical, and this is one of my top five favorites.

The Oscar winner release season continues with several movies that don’t really interest me:

The Godfather – The Coppola Restoration Giftset (The Godfather / The Godfather Part II / The Godfather Part III) [Blu-ray] (also available individually as The Godfather (Coppola Restoration) [Blu-ray] and The Godfather Part II (Coppola Restoration) [Blu-ray]) – I’ve never been a fan of the gangster genre, but I’d be remiss to not mention the best of them all is coming out this week. There were three Oscar wins for the original (Best Actor: Marlon Brando; Best Picture; Best Writing) with eight additional nominations, and six wins (Best Actor: De Niro; Best Art Direction; Best Director; Best Original Score; Best Picture; Best Writing) for the sequel plus five additional nominations.

Mystic River [Blu-ray] – This won two Oscars (Best Actor: Sean Penn; Best Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins) and four additional nominations.

Gangs of New York (Remastered) [Blu-ray] – It didn’t win any awards, but it had an impressive ten nominations.

This is one of my favorite teen comedies of all time. It probably isn’t worth the upgrade to Blu-Ray, but I’m a sucker.

I probably should have bought the series box set that came out in July. I’ll probably line Universal’s pockets by upgrading all my individual seasons one at a time like this.

I didn’t see this is in the theater, and I’ll probably not buy it until circular polarization 3D is available in the home, but I may rent it before then.

This was not good unless all you wanted was the incredulous chain-reaction death scenes, and (again) without being able to do circular polarization 3D at home it will lose the minuscule amount of theatrical magic it might have had to begin with.

A documentary about the science and art of origami? Yes, I’m dorky enough that I’m dying to rent this.

I have never heard of this movie. It has no ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. I’ve never heard of the male star, and the female star has done such blockbusters as Disturbia, The Grudge 2, and Wristcutters: A Love Story. …but it has a supporting cast with the likes of Snoop Dog, Rachael Leigh Cook, Joe Pantoliano, Mimi Rogers, Annette O’Toole and Ajay “Nagheenanajar, Nag-hee-na-na-jar, it’s pronounced like it’s spelled” Naidu. …and I’m pretty sure I can pick it up real cheap.

This was detested by genre fans at Fantastic Fest 2008. I skipped seeing it that year (which seems like a good thing), but I’m sure the boobies look great in HD.

Lastly, the quirky movie Adam isn’t out on retail DVD until 2/2, but you can rent it starting tomorrow. I haven’t seen it but I was intrigued by the trailers, and it has a 65% freshness rating.

The big news of the week is Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. We’re still trying to figure out if there’s a way to celebrate Becky’s birthday where we can watch the entire series, but this movie pushes the marathon HP watching to 18 hours, which is hard to sell. Maybe we’ll break it up into two nights?

If you happen to have an extra $339 laying around, buy me that French box-set of the miniature Hogwarts with drawers to hold the movies.

This is one of my favorite movies of the year, probably because it feeds into my foodie nature. I was so inspired I even made Pâté de Canard en Croûte. Also, there are probably nominations in the wings for both actresses so this is a no-brainer to buy.

“Lost” had its low points, but it’s still one of the most compelling narratives ever on TV. Season 5 has really brought things around and I can’t wait until Season 6 starts next year. I hope “Lost” becomes the hallmark of shows that are planned for limited runs. I would like to see more shows do small story arcs across 1-3 episodes, large arcs across a season, and one huge arc across the series.

From Fantastic Fest 2008, the only high point of this popcorn genre film is the prominent use of practical effects. It’s a fun little romp, but it’s not memorable.

This is one of the best reviewed movies of the year — 85% at Rotten Tomatoes — that I haven’t seen yet, but if the price is right I’ll be picking it up tomorrow.

The hot girlfriend from “Everwood”, the new Captain Kirk, and the star of Coyote Ugly are the marquee names in this obscure genre movie that has a precarious 67% freshness rating at Rotten Tomatoes (including Fantastic Fest’s Scott Weinberg). The star of the film also lead in the pointless boring movie, The Go-Getter, with Zooey Deschanel, Jena Malone, Judy Greer and Mara Tierney. If he keeps this up, all his movies will be watchable…even if they suck.

A gun safety film starring John Wayne?!? I’m there.

Did anyone else know the movie (series) Friday was made into a cartoon? Is it funny?

This is one of my favorite movies of the year. It’s not the best movie of the year but Yi is infectious in her character, songs and animation, plus the story she’s woven draws me in. I’ll be adding this to my rainy-day list of standards.

Somehow, after seeing nearly 30 minutes of this before it was released, I never saw it in theaters. Maybe I’ll give it a chance on disc.

These Guy Ritchie instant classics are probably worth the HD upgrade.

The 80’s were a good time for fun films.

It’s sensationalist media pablum…but I may be base enough to buy it.

How did a horror movie with Brittany Murphy and Thora Birch make it to disc without a single review on Rotten Tomatoes? That scares me.

• X-Men Origins: Wolverine – I didn’t see this on due to its atrocious reviews — 36% is the final tally at Rotten Tomatoes. It’ll be a big seller, but I’ll catch it when it streams on Netflix.
• Deadgirl – This story about teenage boys who find a live girl chained to a table in the basement of an abandoned asylum is hard to watch, destroying the envelope of acceptable behavior. I would probably buy it except that during the Q&A the filmmakers called it “every guy’s dream”. I have never dreamed of having a girl helplessly tied to a steel surgical trolley in the basement of an abandon asylum — actually I’m repulsed by the idea — and I’m not sure I can support someone who does dream for that.
• Hero – The first in a series of martial arts films (re)released today in Blu-Ray format. Many of them will be buried by this bulk release, but Hero is the best cinematography of the bunch, so it’s probably worth the upgrade.
• Iron Monkey – The second of the bulk martial arts releases. This one will surely get looked over as it is the least known, but it’s part of this set of “Quentin Tarantino Presents” discs so some hard-core fans will pick it up.
• The Legend of Drunken Master – The third of the bulk martial arts releases. Since it is one of Jackie Chan’s best, and his face graces the cover, it will probably see the most purchases.
• An American Werewolf in London – An Oscar winner (Best Makeup) and possibly the penultimate monster movie.
• Army of Darkness – Bruce Campbell’s third (but possibly not last) forray into Ash’s hilariously gory and silly fight against evil.
• Child’s Play – Chucky before he got franchised.
• Wrong Turn and Wrong Turn 2 – We saw the first one to support a BTVS alumnus, and the second one because Fantastic Fest forced it on us. I would only recommend the former…but only a little bit.
• Varsity Blues – Is it necessary to buy the upgraded version of a movie about Texas high school footbal just for a few seconds of Ali Larter in a whip cream bikini? I believe so.
• The Hannibal Lecter Anthology – Only one of these films is an Oscar winner, and they’re hoping you’ll buy the others in some belief that they don’t suck when they’re seen as a group.
• Casablanca – It’s won an Oscar. It’s a classic. It comes in an overpriced box set and if you wait a couple months you can get it cheaper in a stand-alone version.

• Misery – Lastly, another Oscar winner. Considering all the films that led up to this, who thought a Stephen King movie could produce an Oscar?

Blu-ray:

DVD:

Next Week Preview:

• Crank 2: High Voltage – This may be one of the worst “fun ride” movies to have such a large budget. Unfortunately I’m sure they’ll sell enough copies to encourage another sequel.
• The Office: Season Five – This is the season with Pam and art school, Michael and Holly, Dwight with Angela who is engaged to Andy, and the Michael Scott Paper Company.
• Friday: Deluxe Edition – Great movie (#1), but better in HD? I’m guessing “no.”

• Silverado – Great movie (#2), but better in HD? I’m guessing “no.”

Blu-ray:

DVD:

Next Week Preview:

• Heroes: Season 3 – Season 1 was an “8” and Season 2 was a “4”, but Season three is a solid “7”. If they could just get Mohindir from running his yapper all the time, and convince the Japanese guys to speak English, it would be better. (I shouldn’t be expected to read when I’m watching pop culture TV.
• M*A*S*H – Possibly the only Robert Altman film that I would say is flawless (and not boring.) It isn’t like the TV show at all, but they’re both phenomenal in their own way.

• Bring It On: Fight to the Finish – You think I only include this because it’s a slow week, but my wife has the first three in a box set and watches them without irony.

Blu-ray:

DVD:

Next Week Preview:

Subtitle: Kids movies – we watch ‘em so you don’t have to

One of the things I’m digging lately is that I get to go to movies again. Like actual movies in an actual theater with popcorn, sticky floors, and glorious, glorious air conditioned darkness, which hasn’t lost its thrill on hot summer days. The tradeoff is that, in order to go without shelling out $40 for a sitter, I’ve been seeing a lot of kids’ movies lately. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, I’m finding myself wanting to prematurely age the boyos to the point where we could have gone to see District 9 instead of Shorts. ‘Cept by then they won’t want to go with their pop, as I (hopefully) won’t have boobs.

Anyways – Shorts.

The kids loved it. It had cool effects, likeable characters, kept moving, and had boogers. Giant walking boogers.

Me? I made it through without breaking out Stanza to read Moby Dick. So it couldn’t have been awuful.

Good stuff:

• Rodriguez found Jolie Vanier to play the kid female lead. She rocks. She straddles the line of being the bully of the movie and becoming more likeable as the movie goes on without dipping into treacle.
• The effects – not mind-blowing, but they work really well with the movie. I suppose what I mean is that there’s some movies that ARE the effects – the first Transformers springs to mind (haven’t seen the second), or the latest Indiana Jones. Shorts avoids that – the effects are part of the plot rather than the whole movie.
• Boogers. About the only questionable content in the movie, but extremely tastefully executed, and the kids come off not wanting to pick their nose. Which is good, because I’m getting tired of waching bloody pillowcases.
• Leslie Mann. May have to transfer my Felicity Huffman crush.

• Themes – the primary one is a lesson on power and the unthoughtful application thereof, which mostly works, or at least it’s the one the boys walked away with. There’s another one about how technology disconnects us from the people around us. Which is fine, but was completely missed by the kids (who buried their noses in their DSes as soon as we were back in the car). It’s also an odd theme for a guy who’s so thoroughly known for his use of digital filmmaking.
• The company that James Spader’s character runs, Black Box Incorporated, or Black Inc., at times appears to be a riff on Apple. Sometimes it works, other times – I suppose it just feels mean.
• The movie, at least a couple of times, tries to make it clear it’s in Texas. My gripe is that it’s in Texas suburbia, which is indistinguishable from many other suburbias.

Bad Stuff

• I hate to say it, but the concept – breaking up the story into interrelated “shorts” kind of doesn’t work. It allows the main character, Toe Thompson (Jimmy Bennett), to stay crucial to the movie throughout; however, doing the story out of order doesn’t have the impact that it did for Pulp Fiction. At least it didn’t confuse my 5 year old – he just wanted to know why they didn’t do the story straight through.
• William H. Macy was wasted. Not that he did a bad job, or anything. Just lack of employment. (By contrast, the other adults in the movie were pretty well used).

Overall I enjoyed the movie. But, I will say that if you don’t currently have kids, or your kids are already teens, you’ll never see this movie, and won’t have missed out on much (unless Jolie blows up into the next teen star). If you’ve got kids between infants and 12 years old, it wouldn’t be a terrible DVD choice in a couple of months. Or, if it’s a hot day and you just want cool, dark, and air conditioning, you could do worse by them.