What was that about Hawaii?

Did anyone mention a recent/ongoing vacation? Seems like someone was going to Hawaii, I’m not sure if I got that right or not…

However, I DO know that Kelly and I spent a wonderful weekend in an exotic locale. That’s right – southwestern Pennsylvania is the next big thing in adventure travel. And by “adventure travel” I mean “upper-middle-class family vacation.”

We spent Saturday through Monday at Nemacolin Woodlands Resort & Spa and it was perfect. Although the last leg of the 3-hour drive was a little nerve-wracking due to snow, once we arrived I have to say the snowy butt-ass cold weather only added to the charm of the place. There’s not much that’s prettier than rolling wooded hills blanketed in fresh snow, especially when viewed through a window while sitting next to a fireplace and drinking a glass of wine. That was our weekend in a nutshell.

The Monica Gellar tactic of loudly declaring that you’re on your honeymoon worked like a charm – we got upgraded to a suite, complete with in-room hot tub and two balconies, and a bottle of champagne delivered to our door. Saturday night dinner at the French restaurant Lautrec was amazing. Although Kelly isn’t as much a fan of French cuisine, I loved every bite of snail, goose liver, duck, lamb and veal that I had. The fact that the chef visited our table and congratulated us on our recent marriage was a nice touch.

I heard about the place from a family friend and it certainly caters to families. The only other people there without kids either had left them at home, or had sent them to college. Had we wanted to socialize with people our own age, it would have required bridging the guest-staff gap. Lucky for us, being two crazy honeymooning kids in love, it was perfect – the restaurants and bars and largely empty after 10, which is when the free babysitting service ends. We made the rounds to the cigar bar and “dance club” (there were 6 people there and a very bored DJ) where I requested Justin Timberlake. Knowing that no one there will ever see you again so you can act the fool, that’s good times.

Then Sunday, oh Sunday. The Lord’s Day. For us, it was The Spa Day. After breakfast in the lodge, we ventured over to the Woodland Spa. I had a short workout, just to say I did. Then we visited the pool, the outdoor hot tub (love hot tubs surrounded by snow), then the sauna and indoor whirlpool. Then a facial that made me fall asleep, while Kelly had a “mud massage.” What I love about these places is that they give everyone a fluffy white terrycloth robe. So you’re walking around and while you KNOW you look like an ass because that woman over there does, the fact of the matter is that you’re all wearing the same thing and probably naked underneath. What a great equalizer.

Lunch was in the spa restaurant, which is apparently “feng shui cuisine” not that I noticed anything especially soothing about the food. I was just worried that my robe was going to fall open or something. Then it was back to the spa for my salt scrub. This is an interesting concept, the salt scrub. Basically it’s having someone give you a scrubby bath while you lie on a table covered with a towel. On one hand, it’s a little embarrassing, but if you’ve had a bikini wax, really no biggie. My verdict – I’m glad I did it, but it’s probably not worth the $crilla.

After a day of spa-induced relaxation, I could have easily settled for staying in the room watching it snow (with cable TV!) and ordering room service. However, we decided not to be total slugs and headed over to the Mystic Mountain ski area for some snow tubing. Although it looked like lots of fun on a nice long track, the 0 wind chill and $15 price tag for 2 hours turned us off. It was back to the Lodge for us, for a good dinner at the Tavern sports bar and then ice cream at PJ’s.

All of this to say, I would certainly go back when I have dollars to drop and am in need of heavy-duty relaxation. It’s true, there’s not much of a cultural component to vacations like this. I didn’t see much that was new or different or expanded my horizons. But the concept of a “getaway” was new to me. The idea that there’s this sort of alternate reality vacation-land, there’s no new city or landscape outside of your hotel to go see, no beach, no family reunion – the hotel IS the destination. That was weird at first, but nice in the end.

Posted by cynsmith at January 22, 2004 3:32 PM