I’m being so productive right now, reading this article stifling giggles with tears in my eyes.

THE SONG: Bruce Springsteen, “Glory Days”
THE LYRIC: “He could throw that speed ball by you / make you look like a fool”
THE VERDICT: Bruce, we hate to bring this up, because we think you’re great and everything, and it might sound a little nitpicky and all, but it’s just that … um … well, a fastball is what Roger Clemens throws. A speedball is what John Belushi took to kill himself. Unless you were trying to make a prophetic comment about Doc Gooden’s career, in which case you did a great job.