Why wasn’t I notified?
I complain of the evils of corporatization and the decay of our culture caused by crass consumerism. I also occasionally use alliteration. But I am a bona fide brand loyal consumerist tool when it comes to three things: Chick-fil-A sandwiches, videogames made by Nintendo, and anything that the Gillette Company tells me to drag across my face.
So why did I only today find out that life has once again imitated The Onion?:
Gillette ups the ante, unveils 5-blade razor
That article is 4 months old now, but I have it on good authority that the Gillete Fusion Power is available in stores at this very moment.
I’ll see you at Walgreen’s after work.
7 Responses to “Why wasn’t I notified?”
Comment from etrigan
Time February 1, 2006 at 8:48 am
I think this just hit the stores today. I saw a TV ad with a logo, a musical tag and no info but a February date the other day.
Speaking of things being released today — the website is down.
Comment from Maynard
Time February 1, 2006 at 10:44 am
With 5 blades, lets hope JRO doesn’t “accidentally” lose any body parts!
Comment from KMc
Time February 1, 2006 at 11:35 am
I can now attest that yet again they’ve improved. The blades are so close together that it feels like you’re rubbing a flat piece of metal on your skin. The trimmer blade I could live without, although I could see the benefit if I had to shave my upper lip, trying to navigate with that kayak-paddle-sized head.
However, they may be pushing their luck with me on this one. A 4 pack of cartridges now costs $13, and they sell a separate cartridge for the power model at $14/4. What’s with the segmentation?
Also, the new design is kinda cheesy. It’s all chromed-plastic where previous models have had a sturdier metal feel to them. The original Sensor was like a solid piece of steel with grips made of tire rubber.
Comment from Jank
Time February 1, 2006 at 10:44 pm
Have I mentioned that, thanks to some freak of genetics, likely on the Janning side, I only have to shave about every other day? And that there’s no problem using cheapo razors requested from motel desks and bar soap in the shower?
5 blades? Shouldn’t this be charged like extra Greenhouse Gas tax to cover the extra resources and energy involved in making it?
On a purely scientific note, at what point do we reach diminishing returns? I’m guessing that we could do some number crunching, estimating the average distance between an upper lip and nose, average whisker diameter, coefficients of friction, viscosity of warm water/soap mixture, and come up with a theoretical minimum separation between blades, blade thickness, bevel angle, etc, and predict where this will end.
Or, operate under the assumption that after we tap Free Energy that we’ll all have laser beam powered shaves first thing in the morning…
Comment from yaqui
Time February 3, 2006 at 1:02 pm
I received one of these bad boys in the mail! Not sure how I got on that mailing list, but…
I’ve used it a few times, as I rarely need to shave. It’s pretty nice, but I was very nervous using it! It’s so large that I was afraid I was going to lop off a chunk of nostril! It also has a side-burn trimmer on the back end! I haven’t needed to use that yet!
Comment from yaqui
Time February 3, 2006 at 1:03 pm
I received one of these bad boys in the mail! Not sure how I got on that mailing list, but…
I’ve used it a few times, as I rarely need to shave. It’s pretty nice, but I was very nervous using it! It’s so large that I was afraid I was going to lop off a chunk of nostril! It also has a side-burn trimmer on the back end! I haven’t needed to use that yet!
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Comment from Mixter
Time January 31, 2006 at 9:29 pm
Jee-zus H Christ!
I just forked over ten bucks for the Mach 3 with the battery… now I need FIVE blades??? Actually, its really 6 blades! Five on the front, one on the back.
Maybe I’ll just grow a beard. Can I call it the binLaden?
(and if JRO gets his hand on a razor with 5 blades, will he have any body hair at all at the end of a week???)