I complain of the evils of corporatization and the decay of our culture caused by crass consumerism. I also occasionally use alliteration. But I am a bona fide brand loyal consumerist tool when it comes to three things: Chick-fil-A sandwiches, videogames made by Nintendo, and anything that the Gillette Company tells me to drag across my face.

So why did I only today find out that life has once again imitated The Onion?:

Gillette ups the ante, unveils 5-blade razor

That article is 4 months old now, but I have it on good authority that the Gillete Fusion Power is available in stores at this very moment.

I’ll see you at Walgreen’s after work.