Tony Hawks is not a skater
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By etrigan - Last updated: Wednesday, August 13, 2003 - Save & Share - Leave a Comment

Tony Hawks is a British male model who gets “email”: from thought-challenged kids around the world who think he is Tony Hawk. At first I thought Tony Hawks was just an ass (while Tony Hawk, I understand, is a really nice guy) but it turns out that he’s a funny ass.

bq. peace tony
you are a werry good skateboarder.I come from Switzerlnd.
I play your game every day.I hope you can rhite a e- mail to me. i am 14 years.(sorry i can not good English)
bye bye Fabian

bq. *Fabian*
*Your English is werry good.*
*Im not surprised you play my game every day. Im told that in Switzerland, unless you ski or launder money, theres f— all else to do.*
*Tony Hawks*

bq. Tony Hawks Your 900 is the best stand where i have see.
I have a question for you. Can you me help me? I would like become a good skater. All my joy laugh me out because i cant a OLLY. Please help me!!!
Goodby: Rene, Germany

bq. *Dear Rene*
*First of all, Ollying is over-rated. Most of my friends cant olly and they are still happy fulfilled individuals. In fact, I cant Olly and I dont want to. Ollying is silly.*
*Tony Hawks*
*PS. Were you aware that the England soccer team recently beat Germany 5-1 in Munich?*

which doesn’t seem that funny until on the next page you find this letter.

bq. Hi Tony .!!!!!!!!
Alles kla ?????????
Willste nich ma nach Wlfrat kommen und mir’n paar Tricks auf’n Skateboard beibringen ????
Ciao !
Diddy .!!!!

bq. *Diddy*
*I am sorry but you seem to have mistaken me for a German Tony Hawks.*
*Tony Hawks*
*PS. Are you aware of the recent soccer match in Munich where England beat Germany 5-1?*

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