Today’s California Gov. Funny
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By jank - Last updated: Wednesday, August 13, 2003 - Save & Share - 2 Comments

From _The Late Show_

*Top Arnold Schwarzenegger Campaign Promises:*

bq. 10. To do for politics what I did for acting
9. Combine the intelligence of George Bush with the sexual appetite of Clinton
8. A heaping tablespoon of Joe Weider’s “Dynamic Body Shaper” in every pot
7. Every freeway gets a dedicated car chase lane
6. Seek advice from elder political statesmen like Jesse Ventura
5. Crack down on schools graduating students who can’t bench-press 180 pounds
4. Solemnly swear to support the Constitution of Gold’s Gym
3. Goofiest-named governor since Pataki
2. Raise the minimum age for dating Demi Moore
1. Speak directly to the voters in clear, honest, broken English.

Today’s profile in candidates, randomly selected as the first “Google”: hit that came up, is “Georgy Russell”: . Her platform includes the following:

bq. One hundred square miles of solar panels would produce enough power to supply our entire state. Renewable energy sources create more jobs per kilowatt-hour than conventional technologies, are more environmentally friendly, and make us immune to the market manipulators that cost our state billions.

Only an area 10 miles on a side! I haven’t run the numbers, but I’m kind of skeptical. Although it’s an interesting proposition. I wonder how it compares with the footprint of the state’s current powerplants. Regardless, good luck to Georgy, BPB’s candidate of the day!

Posted in Politics • • Top Of Page

2 Responses to “Today’s California Gov. Funny”

Comment from etrigan
Time August 13, 2003 at 3:55 pm

BT beat this in a “personal” email to me:

Gray Davis. As exciting as his name.

Comment from jank
Time August 13, 2003 at 11:15 pm

News flash: Warren Buffett Endorses Arnie!

The link’s to E! Online News, which has surprisingly good California election coverage. I’ll wait for a second, but if they keep it up, I’m voting that we endorse their coverage for the Recall Election. Treat yourself to bits like:

Because of his opposition to the recall drive, (Jesse The Body/The Ex-Governor) Ventura said he would not endorse anyone, including Schwarzenegger, his former Predator costar

Among Clinton’s seemingly wise suggestions: Don’t pick a fight with the Terminator.

The Debating Game, the program, set to air October 1, will feature five candidates pushing buzzers and sweating it out through bonus rounds. The prize: A $21,200 campaign contribution, the max allowed from a corporation under state law, to the hopeful who earns the most votes in the October 7 election.

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